The life and Diary of Cee-Wild

2005-03-01T11:42:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, its been aout a month since I last wrote. But, today isnt an update.. this is my long emotional post this time.. ;].

Once upon a time, a girl named Carleigh was born in the year of 1988. She was the adorable blonde haired; blue eyed babygirl that her mother and father had wanted for so long. Years went by, as time passed; Carleigh progressed into a toddler. New to walking, her mother was there when she fell, just like her parents were there when she started preschool. They continued to be there even in middle school when she turned to an adolescent. D'Ippolito Intermediate School was alot for Carleigh. No one understood her and she couldnt bare all the pain. Her friends were not friends and well, she felt as if everyone was out to get her. When she started 6th grade, she was the energetic child, she was happy with herself. However, leaving 6th grade and moving to 7th grade, a peice of Carleigh was lost there. The emotional battles going on in her head that just appeared this year would still be there in years to come. That next September, Carleigh entered 7th grade, as a new person. She traded in her fake preppy white friends for fake ghetto friends. The fake ghetto friends provided a false sense of security for Carleigh. For a while the emotional battles stopped rattling on. Intill somone would make a comment... something bad about her and the thoughts of death would lurke through her head once again. Peer acceptance was all she wanted, yet it never completly came to her. She received everything but acceptance. All the drama from the year prior was showing on her, it was obvious she gained alot of weight. And well, that didnt make it much easier for Carleigh. She finally learned the way to act like she didnt care. Pretending to be much harder on the outside than she was on the inside, Carleigh coped with the problems as best as she could. On many occasions, she would find her self yelling and caring on with the other kids. Curse words and threats would soar out of her mouth yet inside, she was thinking of ways to get out of her problems. Walking in the hallway, kids would say things about her: skank, fat... etc. The only way she could think to leave her problems alone would be to die yet, she never cut deep enough or took enough tylenol. Moving on to high school; 9th grade was much easier. There were more people in the school and the attention started to shift on other people. Of course people still didnt like her but, the false sense of security begain to grow larger as her social group grew, and it felt good. 10th grade was filled with drama and horrible thoughts. The friends that provided the false sense of security were fine but the happiness wasnt really so happy. The boyfriend who filled all of her insecurities that year was her main security. KT was her man, someone she trusted (even though she never spent time with him and he rarely claimed her). Then early March of 04, he betrayed her. He was in love with someone else, his girlfriend of 3 years that Carleigh didnt know about. That night she lost it. She lost her mind temporarily and at that point it got darker for the already dark memories. That night, a peice of her was once again gone. Her peice that made her happy, the peice that allowed her to smile phaded. This provided the eye opener for Carleigh. She saw how fucked up everything was. Her friends were fake, her so called boyfriend stole her heart and trust, she was now fat, she had no future plans, her GPA was a whopping one point something, and now she had no sense of security. From this point on, any smile on her face would be one of three things. She would smile because she was expected to, it looked normal she tried to stay in character. This is the blank smile, it was done because it was normal but it meant and symbolized absolutly nothing. There was then the peer acceptance smile, she smiled so people would like her more, so she would look better and they would accept her normally. She thought she was fooling people to believe she was happy. Then, there was the smile that came spontanious. It was triggered however by weed. Weed provided her self councious mind with confidence and allowed her to smile. It was that summer that she smoked weed heavily, almost daily. Through her life, Carleigh learned that alot can change in a year. She went from thin to fat; Energetic to depressed; depressed to suicidal; and preppy to ghetto all in one year. Who would guess that in the time of a year she would finally have a positive eye opener. This eye opener wasnt triggered by anything that anyone said or did, it was the true feeling that she felt inside that she realized for real, on her own. This is the real eye opener, that she could finally feel deep down inside. At this time, on March 1, 2005 I speak as Carleigh, the girl who thought she had it so bad. Of course I always knew that people are worse off than me but, I still felt horrible and hated myself. Then, I looked back and noticed there is someone... someone has been there. My mother and father are here along with my brother. My mom and dad held my hand when I learned to walk yet they still hold my hand emotionally. But, I today realize that what I took for granted for so many years is drifting away. Why are they drifting away? Its not because they're assholes (they're pretty cool actually) but im getting older. In 4 and a half months, Ill get my Liscence and be on the road to even more freedom. In a year and 4 months, I will be moving far away to college. What I believe my parents will take care of I now know that I cannot force anyone to do anything. I will have to do some things myself because, my god im getting to that age. My parents will come through and do everything they can for me but, now that im older there are things I ahve to handle that no parent can do for their child. Can you imagine me living on my own in a year and 4 months? Wow. Imagine me packing my worldly possesions in a car and just driving, driving to a school where I may not know anyone. Its fucking awesome in a sense! And now I will be prepaired for the battles of not being accepted or whatever the hell is gonna happen there. Because no matter what I have people that are behind me. Theres 4 groups of people in life: Family, Friends, Associates, and Coworkers. My family is my blood, myself, and true people that are in for the long haul. The people who have already accepted me as Carleigh and have accepted all of my faults. There are your friends who are close with you but they cant compair to family. Lauren, Sherrell, and Christene are my friends. Then is the long list of associates the people I say hi and bye to. People I would chill with if there was nothing to do, people I only call every once in a while. Finally, is coworkers, people u go to school with or work with that you wont speak to once u graduate or quit the stupid job. Knowing this, as long as I have my family and one or two friends, life is wonder. I may only have a year and a half left in Vineland, and well im gonna enjoy it. everything that is meant to happen for me and my life will fall into place. If it doesnt, my family will always help me out when im down.

xoxoxo
Carleigh

2005-02-28T19:54:00.000-08:00

School like the normal got me feeling some type of way.. But fuck it, ill post about how I feel later, I dont feel like getting into it now. Um, came home from school and Justin called. Hes weird as hell... hes too much trouble for me though he keep trin to ask me to chill and I just tell him I have man but, I gotta get him to stop calling me. lol. I smoked a the last of the weed from the weekend. Im on the phone will hittin the L and I burned my nail sooo bad that I think its hilarious... maybe ill get a pic of the burn spot for you guys, lol. Word of advice dont smoke Ls down to roaches wit long nails if you're not gonna pay attention to it.. lol. Um, I talked to Sherrell and Elinette on 3-way for a while, Vanessa called and had me acting goofy and Natalie called too. Eze called and fell asleep on the phone and then I went to bed... not too exciting huh?

2005-02-27T20:00:00.000-08:00

Boring Sunday. I woked up and smoked the rest of the 2nd blunt from Friday. My dad dropped me off at Laurens around 4pm or so. Ashley was over there. We drove around in her Lancer. She is a crazee driver.. lol. We went to Kevins house and got him. He came out and smoked a blunt with us. So, we drove around some more then Ashley dropped me off at home. God, I had the munchies too.. lmfao. That was this weekend.. this was my smoke out weekend.. smoked mostly by myself and I was high for a while. :-D. Fun timesss

2005-02-26T20:04:00.000-08:00

So, I smoked a lil when I woke up just to calm my headache from smoking last night. My plans for today never got planned. Laurens friend had a party in Avalon but, it wasnt like a party like that. So, I just stayed around here. I ended up sleeping most of the day anyways so it was ust a high chill out day. ;-D

2005-02-25T20:06:00.000-08:00

Woke up to find out I had a snow day today... that fucking rocks. As I try to fall back asleep, Christene calls at 5:45am to see whats good wit school. Then My dad wakes me at 6:15am to get up for school. Finally at 6:55am Vanessa calls. That child went out to the busstop, lmfao. I still luff her though. finish later....

2005-02-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

Well, nothing special today actually. Mock Trial practice intill like 4 something. Compitions are on Thursday im getting nervous. Anyways when I got home, I had chilled out for a while and then asked my dad if he would bring me to the nail salon and he starts this shit about me cleaning my room so we just get into an argument. In the end

2005-01-31T19:00:00.000-08:00

School was normal intill 4th period when the fire alarms started to go off. When we got out we saw the 9-10 building evacuated too, meaning 1 thing: another bomb scare! lol. So we all walked around and chilled. After about 30 minutes we all sat in the gym for an hour intill 12pm so we could get this day counted as a full say rather than having to make it up at the end of the year. So, when we were dismissed at 12pm, me, Christine, and Jasmine all bounced together. Since we had to leave the school we schedualed practice for mock trial at the library for 1pm. So, while we were on the bus, we decided to just go to the library then so, we walked off and went to wawa to get lunch. Then, Connie picked us up from there. We got tot he library around 12:45pm and decided to go pick Matt up. So we got him and went back to the library. We're all getting ready for the scrimage since we have real compitions on Thursdays. Around 1:15, we call our teacher to see where she is at and she says that the practice was moved to 2pm. So, Amanda shows up and Connie scopped Shenay. So, me and Christene started a dance session.. Jasmin was dying. We killed it tho., We was dancing right intill the librarian told us this was the wrong place for that.. lol. At 2pm, we started our scrimage, I think I did very well today. :-D. That was about it. V-diddy picked me christene and jasmine up and dropped us all off at home. :-D. And well, that was it.

2005-01-30T18:54:00.000-08:00

7:30am, I wake up... really not wanting to get up but, knowing that I ahve to. Took a shower, got dressed wrote the rest of my questions and started to do my hair. 8:20am, Connie calls and says practice is cancelled because there was like 2 cm of snow on the ground.. lol. I was pretty mad since I made the effort to get up all early and was just aboutm ready. Even mom (who was going to watch the scrimage) was almost all ready. Pfft. So, I stayed up and talked to Christene since she was up getting ready too. Around 10am, I got tired and fell back asleep.. that didnt last long because Sherrell always calls so fucking early in the damn morning. Grrr. So, that was basically the day. I didnt go no where, I just got up early and got ready for nuttin. :-(.

2005-01-29T18:49:00.000-08:00

I ended up chillen with Lauren again today. Kevin was around. We smoked a lil then went to this kid Carl's house. Everyone there was crazy.. they were buggin me out I swear I had to leave. I made Kevin bring me home... when we got to my house we seen my neighbor was having a party. I swear we was bout to walk in. Its funny thought cuz after they laeft, Lizzie called Lauren and told us to come out there.. it was too late then. Even Natalie was there... pfft. Oh well. So, I came home and ate.. I had the damn munchies. I also knew I had to be at school tomorrow by 9am for mock trial. So, I worked on all my stuff for that and then i went to bed.

2005-01-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

We had off from school today for a teachers workshop.. nice shit. I was supposed to chill with Toot but, he took so long that I just told him to forget it cuz hes crazy. Lauren took her driving test today too, and she got her Ls! So around 7pm, I went to Sears with my parents cuz they wanted to buy a refridgerator. So, I just chilled in the shoe department with Quannie and Heidi.. I ended up buying a pair of dark brown shoes to go with my suit for mock trial. After we got home, Lauren called and said she got the car. Laur and Michelle ended up coming to get me and we just drove around. We stopped at the gas station and bought cigerettes.. nice to know you dont get carded when you drive. We drove Michelle home and then me and Lauren just drove around till like 11:45pm when she brought me home. I cant believe Lauren got her Ls.

2005-01-27T18:57:00.000-08:00

Today was mostly a normal day in school. However, when we got back on the CCTEC bus, heading back to my high school at the end of the day the busdriver said she would have to bring us home since there was an emergency bomb scare at school and the whole school 9-10 and 11-12 building evacuated all the students. So, that was complete chaos. But oh well, bomb scares are normally kinda fun we get home early and get to see all of our friends for these 45 minute fire drills but, sometimes we get stood out in the snow and cold.. lol. That was about it though. NO SCHOOL TOMORROW. Yayyyyyyy

2005-01-24T14:42:00.000-08:00

We ended up getting a snow day today so, it was pretty cool to just sleep in and all. I mosied around all day.. never even got dressed. I swear its a great feeling.

2005-01-23T14:39:00.000-08:00

When I woke up at Laurens, we just chilled around and all. I took a shower got all cleaned up. Then, my dad came and got me. So, we rode over and got Christene and went to the hills. Me and Christene just went sleeding and all. I swear we got a fucking work out when we was climbing up them damn hills! Anyways, my dazdy came back and brought us hot chocalote and then brought us home. After all that i was pretty tired and I wasnt exactly sure if we would have school or not tomorrow so I chilled out.

2005-01-22T17:21:00.000-08:00

Finally got some snow.. :-D. Around like 1pm, I headed to laurens and just decided I would chill out there for a while to just get away. By the early evening we had like 5 inches of snow! We played around in the snow and just chilled out. Drank hot chocolate. I ended up spending the night at her house and we just chilled all night. Ended up sleeping by the fire place and watching elf. All in All, we had fun.

2005-01-21T19:47:00.000-08:00

School was alright today, kinda boring though. All we did was book work. But, tonight was pretty bad. I made plans to go to Laurens and chill out. But, she was takin foreva to hit me back. When she finally does its like 11pm. So, my mom was all madd about it but said I could go but, I better leave by 11:30 or I couldnt go no where. Then, as im getting dressed she looks in my room and was like it aint clean, so im not goin no where. So, we started arguin.. screamin and woke my dad who threw a fit.. tried to push me out of his room and pushed me off the ground.. He fucking attacked me.. so immature. Gosh. Anyways, I didnt go anywhere.. once again. My hard work never pays off.. cant wait to leave and go to college. So, yep... this night sucked asss....

2005-01-20T19:30:00.000-08:00

Another day that sucked for just stupid shit. The second part of my midterm was alright in English. I got a 83 on yesterdays part. In Math, we just reveiwed for the midterm on monday and tuesday. Social Studies, I got a test to study for thats tomorrow. Studio Production is just the same old shit.. working hard in there. Health we reveiwed for tomorrows test. So my grades gon be like: B, B, C, A, B, B, B, B, B at least thats what im thinking now. Marking period ends on Wednesday. After health, i went ont he bus to go to VoTech. When we get there, I leave all my shit on the bus cuz we ride the same bus on the way home. So, when were getting out of VoTech, they tell us the bus broke down and we gotta take another bus.. I mean damn, my bookbag and my Mecca jacket is on that damn bus! So, I tell Dr. Burns and he was like when we get to Vineland tell the office. So, I tell the office and they send me to Mr. Harvard who then sends me to Mr. Kohout , who suggests I see ALL my teachers and explain to them why I wont have my homework tomorrow.. um.. I do have a bus to catch. So, i told him that and he got smart and I just walked out and i was like im getting my shit back. So, I catch my bus back to my crib. I got in and called the transportation department and then they connect me to a voicemail where I leave a message.. that still wasnt good enough so I called back finally gota live person who just took my name and number. So, when 2 hours go by, they finally call back and tell me I have to go to the shop on Landis Ave. and get my shit. All that so I could study and shit tonight. I better get a 100 on my health test now. My dad finally came back from his business trip tonight. And yeah well, that was it.. my day was whack as hell...

2005-01-19T19:53:00.000-08:00

Today was a very Blah day. School was boring as per normal. my English mid-term seemed to go okay.. not great but I think I did well on it, I guess. During CCTEC, it started snowing so i decided not to stay after school for my mandatory mock trial practice wich our attorny was attending today. I hope Im not in trouble.. but then again, who cares. Between the bus ride from CCTEC and to my house, I saw 3 car accidnets.. there was no way I was gonna make my mom come pick me up. When I got home, I just chilled around. I feel asleep for a while. I actually made another blog layout.. I like this one alot.. I think its gonna be staying around. Um, last night on www.blogskins.com I found a random user (U_suck) stole one of my copyrighted skins and republished it stating she made it. What a stupid, asshole, lame, bitch! So, I wrote a complaint to Myles (the owener) and im hoping they take down her skin because mine was published first. If you wanna check it out go to: www.blogskins.com and do a search for gangsta. The are two skins showing up that are identicle.. the one with my name in the title is the orginal the other is well.. the same thing without my name on it. :-(. Oh well. Im gone for tonight. Ill hit yall tomorrow. Cheaaaa

2005-01-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

Went to school like normal today. I brought out my hot pink stilletos today tho! Hot shit. After school, I stayed for a Mock trial that pissed me off more than anything ever. I really hate the "team" sometimes. Its so fucking stupid. Its a shame, I really like mock Trial just, I hate how im treated there.. I feel as if im still "the freshamn" who doesnt know what shes talking about. Now, im a junior and these feelings still havent faded. I mean shit, I've been in Mock trial since 6th grade. Was lead attorney 7th and 8th grade. 9th grade, I couldnt even get a witness role and 10th grade, I got beat out for an attorny role by someone who has HORRIBLE speaking skills. This year, lead attorny is a girl who has never been an attorny before.. I never even got a chance to try out.. Biased fucking coaches! Anyways, my om picked me up by 3pm. We went over to the cleaners and got my Mecca jacket back. Then, we went to Gourlay's and got my eyebrows done. Then, she dropped me off at Best nails. I got my nails done by Vinny again, like usual. I had a free refill but I was missing 4 nails (my shit was jacked the fuck up) and I got this hot ass blue nail design. Vinny did it all for free. Hes so nice. Fianlly, a designer to treat ME nicely. After I was done, i came home and chilled. My guy situations are sucking right now... KT aint call me all day and Dre wont talk to me. I did talk to Eze today for like 5 minutes. I was thinking there was a Prep game tomorrow.. I was gonna go and check him out but, turnsout there aint no game tomorrow. :-(. So, I spent the rest of the night studing for part one of my english mid-term thats tomorrow 1st period. I really hope I do okay. And, thats about it

2005-01-17T19:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I woke up today aroun 10:30am. I just chilled and waited for Laurens sleepy ass to wake up. I actually got on her computer and wrote my paper thats due wednesday on Ralph Nader. Around 12pm, her brother Bobby came in the living room and watched this movie: Unemployment.. its a wonderful movie. Around 2pm, Lauren's mom brought me home. So, I chilled around the house and all. Around 7pm, my wonderful mommy brought me to laurens so I could get my cell charger because I left it there [once again]. The rest of the day was spent relaxing and enjoying Martin Luther King, Jr. day.

2005-01-16T16:41:00.000-08:00

Today was a little bit better for a me. I went over to Lauren's around 5:30pm. We finished getting ready and then we had her mom bring us to her brother's friend's house. When we got there, Bobby and Nicky were there plus some new people I never met before: Frankie, Adam, Jose, and like 1 other guy. So, we just chilled. We ate some food, drank a little of Jack Daniels. We watched the football games, and listened to a bunch of music. It was an alright time. Around 11:30pm, Nicky brought me, Lauren, and Bobby home. We stopped at wawa on the way home. Once we got home, we sat in her brothers car and just chilled out. We desperatly looked for some trees but, that never amounted to anything. Around 12am, we were in her crib all settled in the living room, watching Elf. About half way through it, we fell asleep.

2005-01-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

I told you this weekend would be shitty. I stayed up till about 2am last night.. just cleaning my room. This morning I woke up around 9:30am and my daddy got me some McDonalds. I spent the rest of my day cleaning my room still. I managed to clean out all my bookbags and under my bed.. what a fucking task. I got done around 6pm. Around 8pm me and Lauren made plans to go to her house and chill. She was supposed to be going out with her little lover, Adam for only an hour. I've been 2-waying her all night wondering when she would get her ass home. At like 10:15, she said she was by the shore mall but she would get me around 11pm. Then, at 11pm she said she was in Hamilton. Then at 12:12am, she called me and was like im sooo sorry I aint get up with you tonight, im in mayslanding. But, if you want ill wake up early tomorrow and well smoke some blunts. I was just like yeah whateva. I guess chillen with a guy who treats her like shit is more important. But, shit if its that way she soulda just let me know before I got ready.. it wouldnt have been that big of a deal but, anyways. Im madd at Dre right now because he keeps making dumb decisions. So, once again I sit at home.. madd bored.. oh well. Im so used to this shit that I dont care anymore. Its whateva... it would be nice to have some true friends tho. oh well... I wonder if anyone has any true friends. I bet very few people have what you see on TV and all that other shit. Oh well. Im gone. 1

2005-01-15T13:39:00.000-08:00

Well, I wanted to actually post something and ask the readers opinion. What are yall thinking of this Eminem layout? Im not too big with it, im thinking of donating it to blogskins.com and making a new one but, I wont delete it intill I have made a new layout. What type of layout would u guys like to see? Let me know on the tagboard, or just contact me. Thanks

2005-01-14T20:29:00.000-08:00

I write this entry as I sit on the phone with Sherrell and Eze in complete silence.. I really dont know what either of them are doing. Im bored and yeah well, this weekend looks like its going to suck big time. Its already started off bad witht he arguments with my mother, which I dont care to go into to detail about. I feel bad about missing Lauren's birthday celebration today but, my mom aint lettin me go no where. My nails look so jacked up.. im missing 4 of em and who know when ill get them done again. I completly miss KT and Toot and im just so unhappy. School is so lame and im tired of doing school work.. Im tired of everything, including life in itself. Oh well, im gone.. ill try this again another day.

2005-01-13T18:36:00.000-08:00

I feel as if the world is coming down upon me yet, I still know that my problems arent all that big, but I still feel troubled and upset. School was okay today, I didnt really feel like gettin up but, I had too. :-(. My contacts were bothering me so much today, that I just had to take them out. After School, I went to Mock Trial practice and Mrs. Romano was being very nice to me, kinda made me not mind that im stuck there. While I was at practice, Lauren called me and said that she was coming to get me. So, she scooped up me and Christene. She didnt get her Ls today but, she had Steven in the car so she was aloud to drive w/ him. They picked me up in this 03' white Mustang that they were test driving for a few hours. After they dropped off Christene, we stopped at one of her neighbors houses and then we went back to Laurens house. A little bit later, her mom let us drive her Acura wit no one else in it. :-D. That was really it for my day.. I left Laurens at 6pm ate dinner and just chilled around the house. Dealt wit stupid ass daily problems but, oh well.. ill be okay. Thats just life. :-D

2005-01-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I felt a mixture of emotions today: sadness, happiness, depressed, excited, annoyed, hyper, and I mean the list really does go on. For a while I ate myself up with this stuff with Toot last night. I mean why does someone hate me so much that they dont want me and Toot together? And why does Toot believe them and jsut say fuck me? Why do I always end up like this. Anyways, on the way to Vo-Tech, I spoke to KT :-D. Thats always a spirit lifter. Cooking class was okay.. Zulieka is so annoying, she thinks she is the boss of everything. Everytime I say something she wants to be the devils advocite. Anyways, we did actually move from the pot sink to the salad bar so, thats good. :-D. The way home from Vo-Tech, I cussed Jermey out cuz he was annoying me. I ended up takin a trip to the 9-10 building and I met up wit E. I miss her so much yo, thats my fucking dawg. Her and her man are soooo cute together. Anyways, I went to Mock Trial practice. Mrs. Go was there again.. shes kinda mean but, oh well, I guess thats how attornies have to be. :-D. After Mock Trial, we dropped Christene off and I came home. I took a lil power nap then, Christene's mom picked me up and brought us back to school. Me and Christene sold seat cusions for SGA (student Government Association). We only sold 19 cusions but, that was kinda okay since they said 04' on them. This one white (hes hot too) boy said I looked good.. :-D. SPIRIT RAISER! So, things will be okay. Theres always a light at the end of the tunnell and if it is a train oh well, thats a quick death.. :-D

2005-01-11T17:19:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a fucking day. Today was my dad's birthday, so I didnt even stay after school. School was iight today tho. In cooking class, each person got a peice of chicken and got to cook it however we wanted to show our style of cooking, we also had to incorporate 1 startch (I did penee pasta) and 1 vegetable (I had corn). Mine started very bad.. I went to season the chicken and the tops to the paprika and the montreal chicken both came off, cooking my meat in way too much spices. But, I added some gralic and hot pepers and honey with all the spices and scrapped it off the chicken (only leavin a lil left) then I grilled and sauted the chicken. With all the shit I scrapped off, I mixed in ranch dressing, cream, american cheese, and brown sugar and made a thick creamy sauce. Then I served chicken over penne pasta in that sauce, it was pretty good too :-D. When I got home, I designed my dads christmas cake (it was okay looking). I wrapped my dads gifts and we had his lil birthday celebration. I talked to Rebbeca today about her birthday party on Saturday, come to find out: its formal. I have absolutly nothing to wear, so i dont think im going.. lol. Alright now for the big part of the day: Me and Toot are soooooo done. I didnt talk to him at all yesterday and by like 11pm Im wondering whats going on. So, I call him and get no answer. I then call Keisha to find out what the problem is. She calls him on 3-way (finally gets him on the phone) and they're talking while im on mute. Keisha asked him if he talked to me today and he was like "Man fuck her, she is such a young girl, im done with her. Do u have any friends for me?" then he was like "Im not talking to Cherish (his supposive ex) anymore either, she tried to play me out on 3-way with her." So he apparently got a phone call that went like this: "Is Toot there?" "This him, whos this." "Do u still go wit Carleigh?" "Yea, y" "Well this is Carleighs friend Tasha. Carleigh heard u went with some girl named Cherish and she said she dont wanna be with you no more." and Toot believes I did this... soooo, someone obviously hates me so much that they dont want me to have Toot, ne of the few things that make me happy. But you know what, im dont with him.. cuz I dont need him. He didnt even care about this or even ask me if it was true. So, he wanna be dumb.. I cussed him the fuck out. Then, I called Cherish w/ Keisha on 3-way cuz Keisha and Cherish are best friends. So, Cherish cant get the phone but they call back and I started arguin wit Cherish and she wanna fight me now.. oh well. See me then, im tired of these bitches fuckin wit me, hatin on me, and trin to fuck up anything I got goin on. So, fuck them all.. including Toot.. I dont need him. Thats why I was on the phone wit KT for the rest of the night.. :-D I swear guys really suck

2005-01-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

Today was kinda stressful. I had regular school all day and then I had a Mock Trial Schrimadge after school (vs. my own school). The shrimadge went okay. Our new attorny coach, Mrs. Go, showed up. The trial lasted till about 4:30pm so we were out by 4:45pm but, it was just a long as day yanno. That was really honestly it. KT aint wanna answer my calls today so that sucked too but, im tired as hell.. ill holla lata. 1

2005-01-09T13:02:00.000-08:00

Today was pretty laid back and chilled. At like 5pm Toot, Chris, n Keisha came to get me and we went to Toots mom's house. We just chilled and all for his birthday, we had a lil cake and all u kno :-D. Toot brought me home at like 7pm because he was going out with his cousions to the skating rank for his birthday. There was just something about today that just told me it was: oh so right. Toot really my be the one yall. :-D.

2005-01-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

I actually slept in a little today which was so nice. Around 4pm, I went to the mall with Lauren and her mom. First we stopped at a Toyotta dealer so Lauren could check out some cars (she gets her Ls on Thursday), she tested this Acura RSX.. very cutte.. I like it. She also looked at a few other cars, I cant wait till I got me Ls.. lol. I went shopping at the mall for my dad since his birthday is Tuesday so, I copped him a custom made Georgia tech Hat and a matching shirt. I came home at like 8pm. I ate dinner and started getting dressed when Toot called and said he was outside. I just threw on some shit, threw my hair up and went out there as is. Me and him just sat in his car and caught up somewhat since we WAS broke up for a week or so. It was nice to be with my baby for a while. Tomorrow is his birthday so I gave him this nice ass polo shirt, its teal and orange. It was orginally like $67 but it was on sale for $50 and I had a $10-off coupon so it was like $40. He liked it alot too. :-). He left around 10pm and at that point my mom woldnt let me go back over Laurens so, I just chilled at home and all. That was really it for today..

2005-01-08T01:41:00.000-08:00

Well, guess whos back? Yep, it be C-e-e! Holla. This layout wont be up for too long, Its cute but not good for organization for me. Okay I need to get some udating on:

Friends
Quannie- Me and him still arent back to normal yet. We speak on occasion about very basic things. I dont think we will ever go back to normal. I miss him too.
Sherrell- Her dumbass just got kicked out of school so school is gonna be dumber now.
Clayvon- Hes been getting on my nerves recently, he been being very judgemental but, I still love him to death.
Lauren- We are getting so close, thats my dog!

Guys
Toot- We go back out as of 1/8/04. We broke up cuz he dissed me on New Years to go to church.
KT- I spoke to him today, Ill be back with him by Monday, I predict.
Dre- Still my sweetheart, Hes such a wonderful guy.
Eze- I spoke to him like 2 times within the last 2 weeks, I guess we're cool now.

Family
Travis- We're cool again, I just learned to forgive and forget
Mom- Things are still good for me and her, shes been mad at Toot cuz of New Years and I dont know how I will tell her that we're back together but, I have to follow my heart.
Dad- Things have gotten better by a lil bit.

School
Regular- I got all passing on my progress report except I am borderline in Health.
Culinary Arts- Im still loving the cooking.

Work
Sears- I quit there on 12/24 because Cindy cut my hours and my paychecks were repeativly messed up. Sears owes me $208 for my last 4 days working $177.85 for a draw error and then they owe me my pay for one week that they messed up. Sonya is an asshole and thinks she can get smart cuz shes older. BITCH you better learn something real quick, I dont care how old you are, when im not being paid right and she wants to act like I am, I will get smart. She really annoys me. I think after she figures out my check ill cuss her out. But, we'll see.
School- I am still working through my school though but, I work like maybe 2 banquets a month so thats not alot.
QSP- Still gettin money through that.

Past Few Days
Wednesday: Did the whole school thing like normal. After school I went to the nail salon with Lauren and got my nails fixed. Then I went back to her crib and chilled till like 9:30. I wrote a rap for her lil love (who is such an asshole) and I spit it on her voicemail, its so funny:
Shits all rinky Dinky
Dick is about the size of my pinky
We all know your aids infested
Mess wit Lauren's head again, the ground will be where your rested
Knew you were trash the 1st time you got arrested
Who the hell steals gas? There aint nuttin goin on for you
Its too late Adam, theres nothing you can do.
Kinda like a young boy, doesnt know what he wants in life
Any other guy woulda thrown it down for Lauren to be their wife
How you gon hold a girl when u dont know who you are?
Your still sexin 14 year old girl in your shitty car
Were you crazy askin her to do da silly?
Priorites aint straight, that night u was headin up to philly
As she sits at home and waits for you to mature
But gotta get your shit together, only so much pain one can endure
Used to be a pimp but she threw in the card
Shes gonna go places and then gettin over him; wont be so hard
I also finally made it to Eckerds to get some make-up, thanks goodness.
Thursday: I didnt go to school, instead me and my mom went shopping. We hit the deptford mall. I got a jean skirt out of JC Penny, an Academiks shirt from USA Blues, and a Laced up red and white Enyce shirt out of Demo. After that we went to Chily's for lunch and met my dad and brother there. Then me and my mom headed to Barefeet where I got a new Dickies bookbag and a pair of white pointed stiletto boots (hot shit). Then, Dots on the way home, I got: a green shirt w/ a matching flower, a plain tan shirt to match my tan high heel boots, chapstick, and a white blazer. All in All I spent like $180. Not bad for 4 shirts, 1 blazer, 1 pair of shoes, and 1 bookbag. I was gonna go over Laurens but, I didnt have a ride.
Friday: Today was definetly just a chill day. Mock Trial practice stressed me out today. I didnt even go out tongiht (I didnt wanna clean my room). I Did try to help Evangeline and her boyfriend with their problems. Me and Toot talked for a while today. He promised me that he was ready to make the commitment full time to me so, we're back together now. :-D.

Closing
Well ladies and gentleman, Im tired its 4:07am now and im hungry so, imma hop off. Intill next time, take care.

2005-01-06T16:26:00.000-08:00

Hm, I said Thursday and well Thursday in about 2 weeks from now sounds good... but, be aware for some drastic changes.. (including linked frams for your conveince) so, let me learn this new html and well ull see what comes out of it.

2005-01-02T18:04:00.000-08:00

ok, well this is under construction as of now.. give me till like thursday to have it all good again.

2004-12-07T17:18:00.000-08:00

Once again, I havent written in here recently. Currently, Im really depressed... I feel as if im being repeatedly backed into a corner. Me and Toot are official now tho and I like him so much. But, I am hearing what i hope is only a rumor... supposivly he tried tot kick it tot his OTHER girl... :-(.

2004-11-19T19:11:00.000-08:00

Wow, its been a very long time since I last wrote and things really have changed greatly. Before, life was talkin on the phone all day and night, along with fucking around on this puter and basically laying around this house lazily. I got a job now, I work at Sears in the Shoe Department. I work approximatly 25-35 hours a week but, Im never complaining when my checks show up. The first check I got from them was for 2 weeks and it was $332 something. All I really do in work is sell shoes, thats how im paid too, in commision. I work wit like 7 people. Theres: Nichole, Tito, Daquan, Lotraney, Heidi, Cindy, Ryan, Josh, and Shantae. Nichole is pretty cool, I doubt I would ever chill wit her out of work but, shes cool. Tito is real funny. Daquan is a whole nother story tho. Yep, same Daquan (Quannie) that I have been calling my best friend for 5 years now, well, we have came to a splitting. Honestly, there is a chance that we may not be cool again, ever. Lotraney is cool, her and Heidi I would definetly chill wit out of work. Cindy is my boss, her, Ryan, Josh, and Shantae are all ok. So, for the most part.. I r4eally do like my job. Although commision jobs are always stressful.
I guess, Ill go into a little more detail with Daquan. About 3 weeks ago, we got into an argument and we didnt talk for about a week and that was the longest we ever went without talking. He actually called me to apolize which at the time ment the world to me. We was cool for like a week and then we got into an argument at work. He stole some of my sales which, is like takin my money out my pocket. I got really mad and cussed him out. I even told my manager whats goin on and as I was speaking to her, I get a complaint from another manager that 2 customers just complained about me. Then Daquan comes in and so much shit was said and I just lost it.. I even started to cry. I wanted to quit right then and there. Well, since then we havent spoken. Shit has gone around school and its really hurting me. Really, all the shit that I heard that he said about me is the only thing stoping me from us making up. Not only do I feel: Backstabbed, betrayed, and victimized, I feel like shit because I lost my best of 5 years. Im upset about it and im scared that me and him will never make up but, on the flip side, im hesitant to be cool wit him again, hes kickin me in my back. I dont know, im really hurt. Anyways, I guess if we're really best friends, he wouldnt even be talkin shit on me and purpously hurting me. So, I guess me and Daquan is at a fold.
Things at school are going much better. I've figured out all my grades now, I got: English-B, Math-A, Social Studies- B, Studio Production- A, Gym-D, and Culinary Arts- C. Not a bad report card for me. People in school is better, I mean there is still the haters but, its all good... cuz I hold my own and cant no body change my mind or perspective.
but ill write more later.. im on chill mode right now.

2004-10-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

Well, today is just a bad day. Im coming to the point in my life that I feel as if everything is goin wrong. Im bustin my ass in school but, I found out I got Borderline in English for my progress report, at least it aint failing tho. My friends in school are very limited, there is someone in every class that Im keepin my eye on. Everyday on the bus to school, I argue wit Robert, Devad, and all their friends. First period, Danielle is always runnin her mouth.. Second period its Ashley, she is so annoying. Third isnt too bad, but I kno Shamica is a faker. Fourth is alright I guess, Doug seems to be a faker too but, i aint sure yet. 5th is the worst, its my gym and I have so many haters in there: Alyssa, Betsy, and Ella to just start. Then on the VoTech bus, Im worring about Anthony and them. VoTech is Jasmine, always talkin shit. So, its startin to stress me out. But, I guess I like to remember that ill be gone in a year and 7 months. Not too much to go when u really think about it. And of course, my few friends in school (Daquan, Dominque, Christine, Kristen, Giselle, Terraya, Robertha, Clayvon, and Hasz) keep me positive. So yea everything else in school was the same ole same. Except in gym tho. At the end, Im walkin and Betsy walks in my fuckin way and pushes me into Alyssa. Next thing I kno Alyssa and me are squarin up and cussin each other out but, oh well. There is just no sense talkin to some people. I hate arguin wit people who USED to or are SUPPOSED to be my friends. Hasz wasnt talkin to me today, I dont kno why but, it really hurt. Im not sure if its just because of this thing we were arguin about wit John Deere or if it was on some shit like hes trin to play me. After school, I had Mock Trial. I was kinda madd there. Im just hopin we dont have a repeat of my Freshman and Sophmore year. Russo doesnt seem to understand how I feel no matter how much I explain it. My dad forgot to pick me up after mosck trial and didnt come till I called him. Any other day it wouldnt have been such a big deal but, today I had a job interveiw at 4pm at Sears and it was only 3:20pm by the time he picked me up. So,I rush to my house, get changed and try to look representable. I left around 3:40pm so, I made it there and in the office with my exact 5 minutes early. :-D. The interveiw seemed to go okay but, I wasnt really sure because at the end she said alright well we will get into contact with you because we still have other people to interveiw. So, who knows.. hopefully it will work out okay. So, the rest of the day was just spent relaxing. Right now im just sitting ont he phone with Sherrell and Ellineat. I was depressed before I started writting this but, now im feelin somewhat better. :-D. Well, thats it. Cross your fingurs for my problems in school, Hasz, and my job interveiw.

2004-10-11T16:37:00.000-07:00

I didnt have school today because of Columbus day so, that was nice. I went to the mall wit Lauren and John Richie. John's car is dope as hell. I ended up buying some thongs and a John Deere shirt (to match my hat). I seen Sherrell at the mall. While Lauren finished shopping, I went outside and talked to Hasz. The outcome: Me and Hasz are official now.... we go out! Im really happy cuz, when he left I was really feelin him. When I got home I sat and talked on the phone to him for like 3 hours.... :-D. So, I guess Im pretty happy.

2004-10-04T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well today has alot for me to tell. School was a bit weird today. On Friday when I saw Tamoya at the mall, she was with her hot as cousion. At the mall I told Moya to tell him to call me. So, Im standin at Alyssa's locker and Tamoya is durr and Im like how come he aint call me and shes like he has a girlfriend. Then, Alyssa is like girl thats my peice. Yeah iight, Alyssa goes wit Kevin (been wit him for like 2 or 3 years now) but she thinks since he flirted with her before its her man... lmfao. Anyways, I stayed after school for yearbook club but, it got done early. So, my dad came and picked me up and we went to get Lauren but we argued on the way there. I hate my dad but, anyways when he finally went to get Lauren it was like 3:15pm. When we finally got to the nail salon it was 3:30pm and outr appointment was at 3:00pm! Oh well, I got my nails and eyebrows done. Then we went to Hallmark and grabbed some candy. :-D. Lauren's brother Bobby came to pick us up and we stopped at blockbuster on the way home. So, i came in and freshened up and then Mr. Childress came to pick me up. So, I went to the DMV and took the premit test again. I was issued my special learner's permit. That means im aloud to drive as long as im with the driving school teacher. He let me drive home. I actually got in 45 minutes of driving today, it was fun. This was like my first time driving on a road and goin faster than like 20 miles. Cuz, I drive around these neighborhoods but not like fast and all. Anyways, ill finish this later. :-D Anyways, when I came home I chilled for a while and all. I also found out some upsetting information. Today at lunch Alyssa started talking about me, sayin that I need to stop tring to get with guys that I know I cant get. Alyssa has some malfunction that makes her think she is so much better than everyone else. Heh. But, this is still messed up because she is SUPPOSED to be my friend but, whateva. Im not gonna make a big deal about it... im just not gonna be all cool wit her like that.

2004-10-03T13:24:00.000-07:00

Well Sunday turned into a chill day. I did alot of work on my computer stuff and I caught up with school. Not much more to say other than that. :-D

2004-10-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

Isnt it weird that I never go to the mall but, I ended up there again today? Me, Quannie, and Christine went to the movies to see Woman Thou Art Shall not Loosed. The movie seemed really good intill it started to mess up. Apparently it did it 2 other times before we got there so, we went to the manager (I kno her) and got our money back. So, we start driving to the mall and Quannie is like lets go to another movie and im like nah so we started arguin and I was just like drop me off at the mall, Ill get my own ride home. So, I get to the mall and I see Alicia and like 6 other girls all talkin shit. So, I ignored it... dont wanna get jumped, again... lol. So, im standin around talkin to Sherrell and Quannie calls me and hes like we're comin back. Christine felt bad and made him go back. So, they came in the mall with me and we walked around. I seen Donelle workin so I went in and said hi, you kno. Then, we walked to Boscovs to look at clothes. After that, we left and went to Red Lobster to eat. I got this shrimp thing, it was really good. Then, we came back to my house and chilled. I was dancin again in my driveway.. lol. Then, I just chilled at home. I talked to Has a lil and of course my Kell.

2004-10-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

School was the same as always. Last night, Ty told me that Rebecca was goin thru some shit so, I went and saw her today to make sure she was doin iight. Me, her, Her brother (Dan), and Brittany ended up goin to the mall to chill. Dan got his Ls now, so he brought us. But, we split up from him and us 3 just walked around and chilled. I gave this guy Donelle my number. I seen Luis at the mall... so maybe we'll start callin each other again. I called Hasz as we were leaving the mall and we talked for like 10 minutes, he gave me his 2-way number and all. Im really thinking me and Hasz might start goin out soon but, im not sure. So I got home and chilled. I talked to Hasz for a while. Donelle called me around 11pm. :-D So, we talked for like 20 minutes. Around 1am, I got a phone call from this 610 number. Me being half sleep and clueless to who it was, I cussed them out. Come to find out it was my Ronnie!!!!!! I swear, I miss Ron so bad, I cant wait till he comes home! Donelle called me back and we talked for like 10 minutes after that. Then, I really went to sleep you know. :-).

2004-09-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

Today was an alirght day. I had a dentist appointment at 10am so, my dad picked me up from school around 9:45am and I went to my dentist appointment. They changed some of my bracets and gave me new wires... my braces should be off by New years they said. But, last time they said they would be off by Christmas. So, who knows. After that, I went home and put some make-up on to freshen up and then I went and made some lunch. After that, my dad brought me to CCTEC. We just did book work today. On the way back to VHS, I battled Shoka on da bus.. he cant rap for shit :-X. I had yearbook club today too. So, I walked Quannie to his car and when I walked back to school, I seen Hasz so, I walked wit him. He gave me his new number! :-D. Yearbook club pissed me off. I didnt get a permanet part which pissed me off so I said fuck it and decided to go to the business side. And well, thats really all I did today. You know.

2004-09-29T19:08:00.000-07:00

School sucked like usual. I got on the bus and big ass Devad was in my seat and we had a substitue busdriver. So, I just sat somewhere else, there were madd open seats... I just didnt wanna start anything again. School was alright. CCTEC was kinda boring, we jsut did book work but, I was quiet in there today... things go much better for me if im quiet in there. When I got home from school, I changed and went to Sears. I filled out this application there and spoke to some lady. She said I should hear from them by Monday. Only downside is I know they drug test and I dont kno if I will pass or not.. I havent smoked weed in 39 days so, I might be okay. I also went to this Pizza spot and filled out an application they said they will call by Friday or Monday... lol. Then, I went and got my pinky nail fixed, it hurt so bad... I didnt even kno but, I actually broke most of the nail in half... i was bleeding and stuf... EWWWW. For the rest of the day, I just chilled, nothing to serious. Im staying after school tomorrow and I might see Hasz so, I hadda look ok.

2004-09-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

Wow, today was such a hectic day... I just had soo much to do. I went to school and chilled. I got all caught up basically in my classes from me being absent on Thursday and Friday. In my 1st period English, Danielle was getting on my nerves again. She be talkin all her lil shit and I do my best to let it go but, that dont work all the time. At the end of 1st period, she was walkin behind me when Robertha was walking wit me so, I jsut started talking shit on Danielle but, either she didnt notice or she wasnt responding. CCTEC was boring today, we just like did bookwork but, we had a assembly and dere was madd people there. So, I went back to Vineland and walked around for a few minutes. I see Tarryn waiting for her bus... and then I heard someone callin my name.. I looked around and never found out who it was... Im not sure if it was Tarryn, but oh well.. im not letting these girls ruin my school year. So then, I went to my Mock Trial meeting, I said wassup to everyone and put my stuff down. Then, I ran to debate since I had 2 meetings goin on at the same time. So, as Im walking into debate, the football team is walking by and I see a boy who looks just like Hasz and Im like nah, it cant be him.. hes still in PA. Hehh, he grabbed my arm and was like u not gon say hi? And I was like wow! Come here... but he had to go to practice, his coach was actually walking with him. So, hasz is back! The topic for debate this year is the United Nations... Im gonna have to look some stuff up, I know the history of it but, I dont kno anything current. Blah. Then, I went back to mock trial. Me and Connie decided that we are going to be the plantiff lawyers together this year. We're going to establish teams early now so we can build it up. I think me and Connie can hook something great up! I then walked down and talked to my security guard friend.. hes madd cool. Then, I went home for what, 15 minutes? I changed my shirt and went to CCTEC to help out for a banquet they were doing tonight. I watched what they were cooking up and they showed me alot more of the stuff they wanna make for the Culinary Arts Olympics in October. So, that turned out to kinda be fun. I really am sure that i want to be a chef now.. I love the business and I love how busy it is. There is always something to do, I hate standing and waiting around. So, I got done the banquet around 6:15pm, I was home by 6:45pm. I jumped online for a lil.. cooked some dinner and fell asleep for 50 minutes.. lol. I actually set my alarm to wake up at 9: 20pm so I could watch the real world and call Kell. :-D. So, I did all that, picked out my clothes for tomorrow and here I am! After I get off here (prolly in like 15 more minutes), Im gonna study for my hirstory quiz tomorrow, make some points for mock trial, and take a shower. Well, I guess Im out guys.. I gotta admit, i've been missing writting in here but, hey im getting back on track now. :-D Holla at me.

2004-09-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

Well today was my first day back in school since last Wednesday. It felt nice to get back in school, i was getting a lil lonely being home all day. Tarryn (one of the girls who jumped me) started at my school today. I was kinda surprised to see her but, we dont have any classes together so its all good. :-D. As long as she dont bother me, i wont bother her. I was getting a lil frusterated in CCTEC today, we were working on knife skills and I wasnt cutting straight.. but oh well. Im gonna practice my knife skills at home a lil. When I got home, I watched mean girls on DVD, it was actually pretty good. Then, I went to Donderos (jewlery store) wit my mom. I picked out my class ring. I picked a 10K gold one. It has like the year on the bottom lil line and then: Carleigh VHS on the top lil line. Then, in the middle of the two lines, theres like a big ruby (my birthstone) and thats surrounded by like 7 or so diamonds. Its hot as hell, gotta respect dat. I think its like $360-sumthing. I was like dayum.. glad mommie and daddie payin :-D. So, I came home and chilled for the rest of the night. I talked to Kell alot during the night and I did a lil bit of homework so, that was about it.

2004-09-26T20:06:00.000-07:00

Well, my second day going job hunting. As I was getting ready to go, the phone rings and I answer it without lookin at the ID and I hear "ummm, Is mom there?" that fucking asshole. I was just like Yuckkkk and gave my mom the phone. So, I got ready and all. I ended up going to quite a few places. I went to Cafe Centro but they were closed. I went to Blockbuster to rent a movie (mean girls) and I also went to Acme wit my dad. Then, I went to this restuarnt around the corner from me. I also hit: Pizza Joes, Micheals Pizza, Eckerds, Larrys, and I think thats it. Hopefully someone will call me soon. So, that was basically my day. i cant wait to go back to school tomorrow!

2004-09-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

I decided t job hunting today, I need a second job. So, I went and hit a bunch of places. I went to Upper Krust Bakery, La Bella Pizza, Pizza Queen, and Deeks. Then I came home and chilled. I was kinda madd because I wanted to go to club extreme tonight because Llyod was gonna be there. Quannie was goin wit his brother and his boys but, he dont wanna bring me cuz imma girl. They dont go to the club wit girls, or so they say.. BLAH. So tonight ended being a sit home night. And that was about it yanno. Boring huh?

2004-09-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

So today sucked.. I got into a big as argument wit this dumb boy. I really just dont like how my bus is set up. Im the last stop so people always end up sitting in my set. So, I get on today and this like 300-pound, 6'3", clumsy, doofey, and sloppy white trashey boy is in my seat. So, I say nicely, thats my seat yo, u gon have to get up. Now, lets keep in mind this is my assigned seat that, I was assigned to sit in by the bus driver on the first day. But so, after I tell him to get up hes like "No bitch, I aint fucking moving." Grrr... so I told the busdriver and she made me sit somewhere else.. so the busdriver wasnt goin to help me. But so, me and the boy continue to argue the whole way to school. Hes actually like smart (hes in my US History 2 class) but, he speaks wit a slurr and u'd think he was really unintelligent. But, hes also like kinda physco.. hes really into politicas and believe that the best way to handle any of our countries problems can be solved if we kill everyone causing it.. lol. So, needless to say, he does intimade me becuase hes what I call weird. Lmfao. So, as we argue all the way to school, things get more heated. He told me he was like why dont you go kill yourself, as a matter of fact, Ill go do it for you. So, Im all hyped now.. we screaming as we pull into school. So, the busdriver (who couldnt do anything to stop the argument.. she just sat quietly listening.. dumb bitch) calls security and says she has two students on the bus about to fight. The whole about to fight thing was far fetched.. we were both still sitting down but, we were just cursing each other out loud and obnixously.. lol. So, we get off the bus and the security (they send 2 of em.. lol) are asking what happened. So, I started to explain and I let the kno that the boy (his name is Robert by the way) threatened to kill me. He then denied it and lied to security and said that I said I was going to killl him and that I threatened to get my byofriend (I dont even go wit no one). So not only had I dealt with an ugly fat, sloppy boy talk about me infront of everyone but now, I was getting blamed for all of it. Not to mention its still like 7:30am so, its way too early for all this to happen. So, i was brought into the main office while they kept him in the vice principals office. I got called in like 20 minutes later and I said my story... Luckily, Robert got caught in his lies and they knew that I didnt do anything but defend myself and cuss at him. So, Robert got suspended for 5 days. Thank god. But still, the whole situation still stressed me out a bit but you know.. its all good. Im madd cuz I dont wanna take the bus anymore.. I dont want these problems... but, of course Quannie wont bring me to school or nuttin.. :-(

2004-09-08T16:35:00.000-07:00

So today was iight. Just another day in school. Bridgeton and Millville came to VoTech today. Um, Ceira is in my class.. so I chilled wit the Millville people a lil. um Im becoming cool wit this girl and guy from cumberland regional.. Clayvon and Amanda. They cool. It was weird me and Ceirra wore tha same shirt today.. lol. But, today was just like such a boring day. When I came home, I slept for a while.. shit I was so tired and then I just chilled for the rest of the day... pretty boring.

2004-09-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

First day of school, Im a junior this year.. in the new building! I woke up at 5am cuz I was gonna spiral curl all my hair but, I gave up on dat. I got ready and actually looked okay today. I took pictures, they're in my pixel album lxl Gotta love me lxl (user name VanillaTwist). My bus came at 7am-ish. Sherrell, Kilynne, Shamica, Jordan, Melanie (ew), Vanessa, and a few more people is all on bus. I was glad cuz Sherrell and Ki saved me a seat (im the last person to be picked up). Ki looked real nice today and she was wearing orange too. I felt bad tho cuz she got beat up on the first day, but ill get to that. So, we got to school and I walked around. I seen Robertha! I missed her sooo much over summer. Seen Quannie, Terraya, Giselle, Betsy,... you know all the usual suspects. Um, I seen Alyssa and Tamoya too! I missed not being in the building wit all dem. I went to my homeroom, Col. English 3. I got a lady named Mrs. Munsic, she seems real nice. My class is soooo blah. Im madd quiet in there cuz I dont kno any of these lil kids. Then second period, I was walking to my class (Col. Algebra 2) but, I seen Alyssa so I walked with her. Then, Im walking to my class (late too) and I see Quanie and hes like Kilynne just got beat up by Tahira. Aparently, Tahria seen her and just ran up on her and stated hittin her and Ki aint do nuttin. Ki be gettin beat up all the fucking time. lmfao, but thats still my peoples. But, I was mad cuz It was infront of my 2nd period class and if I wouldnt have been walkin wit Alyssa I would have seen it... lol. Um, my math teacher seems okay, his name is Mr. Jess. His class seems like it would be madd easy.. I hope its an Easy A. No one special is in this class either. Third Period I have Col. Us Histor 2. I got Mrs. Curio. I really like her.. I think her class should be fun. Keneith, Kenetha, Shamica, Jordan, Linnaries, and Natale are in my class so, it should be all good. Forth period I had Studio Production.. gosh its a far ass walk there. My feet was killin me from my high heels. I dont like my teacher in this class tho.. hes Mr. Roman and I dont like him at all. he seems real rude. Quannei had him last year and Quannie said he is cool so maybe hell lighten up. Then, after that I have Gym. Yo, I think, I got the best gym this year! Like almost all my peoples are there. Its Christine, Monique, Ella, Giselle, Betsy, Natale, Lucy, Shalonda, Heather, Alyssa, Shonda, Bryan, Terraya, man my gym is the shit. And, most of us all picked the same class for first marking period so yanno! And there is some bangin ass seniors there.. shit Im bought to get me a lil boy yanno. After gym I go to votech. Its nice to go to school for 5 periods and then get on a bus and chill for like 30 minutes. Me, Natale, Terraya, and Giselle all took the same bus there too. I sat wit Giselle the way dere. So we get there and im like where do I go.. I hadda ask them where I was suppsoed to be cuz I was clueless. But, it sucks because my classs there (culinary arts) only has 2 girls from my school and I dont kno any of dem. So, I made friends wit dis girl Jasmine and chilled wit her. Cumberland Regional came today too.. no cute boys there. Bridgeton and Millville are gon start coming tomorrow. So, we met our teacher, Chef Fred and our assistand, Chef Jeff. Fred seems like hes the real shit. He seems very qualified like he knows what he is doin. I dont know about Chef Jeff tho. But, I really want to do good here. So we were there intill 1:35pm and then we ride back to Vineland. I sat wit Terraya on tha way home. We got back to VHS and I just got on my bus to go home. My busride home is only like 10 minutes cuz I live right there and im the first to get off.. :-D. So that was my day. Things went okay, Thank god! So later on in the night, Dante came over wit Hassan. I dont kno why he came either... it wsa weird. But we chilled out for a while... I dont really like being around him hes too pushy. He always be wanting to do sumthing and I would never mess wit him like that. I mean today is like the first time I seen him since like a year.. lol. But it was weird. I dont like him at all like dat.

2004-09-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I wanted to sleep in today but I knew I couldnt because school starts tomorrow and I need to get back on to a better schedual. I was gonna let myself sleep till 12pm but, my dad woke me up at 11:30am cuz Quannie was on da phone. So, I call him back all sleepy and shit and hes like yo im coming now.. im like wtf.. Im sleep! So, I told him wait 30 minutes. So, I got a shower, got dressed and everything. When he got here, I went out there with no makeup on, my hair not done and my shoes not even on yet. So we went to McDonalds first and then we went and got gas. After that, we drove to Philly... we got there madd quick, took like 30 minutes. So we went to the Gallery and shopped a lil. I bought 3 Lady Enyce shirts and an orange belt. The shirts were all cute, one was baby blue wit a kiss mark on it, the second was light pink and hot pink, and the rid was red and had lady enyce written all over it. Quannie got 2 shirts, a nice Azzure one and a Rocawear one. On the way home, we stopped at the Deptford mall.. it was packed there. We just wlaked around lookin to see who was there. Then, we drove home. We stopped at the car wash and vacummed Quannies car out too. Then, he droppd me off at home. So, I went thru all my clothes and had to decide what I wanted to wear to school on the first day. I picked this white and orange rocawear shirt, wit my mudd jeans, orange high heels, matching orange rocawear purse, orange belt, and my orange "C" earings. So, I guess I should look okay for school cuz yall kno how I do. So, for the rest of the day I just worked on summer reading and stuff.. you know. That was about it tho.

2004-09-05T02:35:00.000-07:00

Today was such a blah day. Im starting to really stress.. life just isnt nice. I did weigh myself and I am 3 pounds away now.. which sucks cuz Im so close but, I wont be able to do it. But since I started my new diet I've lost 10 pounds.. so I guess thats the good part. I actually had to work today. So, I got paid a lil bit to do a few things... Cheaa. I went to Dominques around 6pm. I was so glad to see her son.. I havent seen him in like a year. Jaquan (her son) is 18 monthes and so cute. Last time I saw him, he wasnt talking yet and he sure wasnt walking now hes walking, talking, and throwing! God that kid threw so many things at me.. lolz. Dominques house had madd people in and out. Her brother there with his girlfriend, bobby was there wit 2 of his friends, and her dad stopped over to see Jaquan but, I still left early. Dominque had to go out wit her cousion and her boyfriends mom. I was kinda pissed to leave early cuz I had to bug my dad to come get me but, hey what else could I have done. Um, when I got home I did major reading.. Im on page 150-sumthing now. Like 70 more pages to go! I dont really think im gonna finish before Tuseday. And not to mention its 5:40am and I still havent went to sleep.. I believe ill be doing that ina bout 10 minutes. I gotta get up by 12pm tomorrow too :-(.

2004-09-04T02:31:00.000-07:00

Well, i got paid today but, I still seemed to spend most of my money. I got a new full set of nails put on and I got a pedicure too. I also got my eyebrows did. That alltogether was like $70... :-(. And, it also took like all day. When I came home I seriously like jsut read and went to bed. I was sleeping by 12pm today (which is soearly for me). The weirdest thing happened today too. I ahve two goal weights. The first one is the weight I wanna be before I go back to school and then the second is the weight I want to be for the rest of my life. So, although I am far away from my second goal.. im not too far from the first one. But it was weird tho cuz I weighed myself earlier in the day and I was 6.5 pounds away. So, before I went to bed, I weighed myself again and I was only 2.5 pounds away. Isnt that weird. I mean nightime is the worst time to weigh yourself but, oh well.. I guess Ill jsut have to wait and see what the scale says tomorrow.

2004-09-03T02:25:00.000-07:00

Another very productive day for me. I had a doctor's appointment at 3pm. So I went in and got all my contaacts and they checked how they fit and all. I got 7 pairs of true saphire, 6 of carribean aqua, 2 clear, 1 true hazel, and 1 green. So, I got some varieties goin on huh? lolz. Then me and my mom walked around the mall to look for some stuff to throw outfits together. We bought a shirt from Rue 21, some thongs, and hair ties for like $9! Good deal huh? I figured out how im gonna make this shirt. Its gonna be hot. So, ill have to take pictures after I finish making it. But its gonna be like a white shirt wit yellow Fishnet material under the colorr and a yellow fishnet pocket on my chest wit my yellow fishnet stockings, yellow pumps, yellow belt, and yellow earings. Oh yea, I also went to the beauty store and bought 2 pairs of earings (the yellow ones and an orange pair) and I got a yellow belt. Than, when I came home, I really cracked down on my summer reading. I was on page 60-sumthing and by the time I went to bed I was on page 98! Go mee! But, I still swear I am hating this book.

2004-09-02T02:15:00.000-07:00

Well today was just basically a shop day. I woke up early and went to Bear Feet wit my mom in the morning. I got a pair of orange pumps and yellow pumprs from there and I also found two pairs of jeans. Then, we went off to the Deptford mall. I looked for yellow fishnets but ther werent any in that mall. So then, I searched for a skirt. I ended up getting one that ws not so great from Gadzooks. By this point I was so tired so, we jsut decided to head home. I chilled around the crib for a while. Quannie was supposed to pick me up at 3:30pm but, he didnt come intill 4:30pm.. I was all worried I tought he got into an accident or sumthing.. lol. So, we drove along wit his grandmother to Mitzpah to drive his grandma home. After droping her off, we went to the Hamilton mall. I returned this Marcus Gerbraudie shirt I bought from Against All Odds.. and I just exchanged it for two button ups (non name brands tho). Then, we went to Macy's for Quannie to buy some new Tims. After that, we hit hot topic and I found my yellow fishnets. I got the stocking and I got the arm ones too.. shesh it only came up to $14 so what tha hell. Then, we got something to eat and went to Victoria's Seceret so I could return something for Quanie. And even tho all this didnt take more than 3 hours, we just bounced cuz we was tired and all. We drove home but, we stopped at Christines on the way. We sat at her house for a while and then they went to the ice cream stand. But I didnt get no ice cream.. I have 6 more pounds to loose before Tuesday morning (I doubt ill do it) but oh well. Um, I seen Chantal there I said id call her sometime.. I miss chillin wit dem. I had one of my boys meet me there too so, I chilled wit him for about 20 minutes. It was nice to see him. I showed him my new tongue ring and he stuck out his tongue and he was like lick this... like he wanted me to kiss him but noooo... no kissing I want the anticipation build up. After that, me, Quannie, and Christina went to my house. I showed them some of my clothes that I bought for school a couple weeks ago. By 9:30pm they left and I just layed around the house like a bum and continued to read this boring ass book.. :-(

2004-09-01T02:06:00.000-07:00

Well I got up early to go to Micheals. I had to go in and take this test t be eligible for employment. It was 90 questions and madd reading but it was easy as hell. I seen Dominque in there, so we talked for a while. After taking the bullshit ass test, me and my mom went to Bridgeton to try and get my cell phone fixed [[once again]]. So, they said come back in an hour for it so, wejust went to Carl's corner and chilled. We went to Eckerds and get eyeliner, bronzer, and eyeshadow. Then, we went to Fashion Bug and I got a pair of jeans, 2 necklaces (light pink one and a orange one) and two earings (hot pink and lime green). SO, we go back to the phone place and they didnt even do anything to my phone... they said they couldnt find the problem. So we sat there uncomfortably for another hour intill they just gave me a new i730. Shit, I aint complaining.. its brank new! Only down side is that I lost 5 of my ringers (Alicia Keys- Want it All, 50 Cent- Magic Stick, Young Guns- No Better Love, Chingy- Holiday Inn, and Chingy- 1 call away). But oh well. So, then me and my mom went home and I just chilled around the house. Later on, I got all ready and went over to Dominque's house. Her cute brother was there but, her son wasnt (I havent seen him in sooooo long). So we just chilled around. Walked around her street cuz peoples were about to fight and shit. Um, these dudes came thru for Dominque they was corny ass boys tho. I was begining Dominque to leave them.. they was ugly and whack and this one dude got smart wit me so i cussed him out and we left them. Then, when they drove off.. Dominque threw a rock at their car! Aint she a crazy ass. Um, Dominque wanted me to go back out wit her and her Ex but I said nah and just let my dad come get me around 11:15pm.. that was about it for the night. I actually tried to do some summer reading tonight but you know the book sucks so what can I say? I quit after like 5 page.

2004-08-31T03:19:00.000-07:00

Gos today sucked. I woke up around 7am... got like 2 hours of sleep.. Im just to stresssed out. I talked to Sherrell and Mom all day.. cuz well i've just been feeling so low. Um, I got up packed up all my shit got dressed and all ready and I called a cab. I went to the airport hella early cuz i didnt wanna be in the house around my brother. The cab costed $21.00. I got to the airport got my tickets and then got some chicken tenders and then just sat and chilled in the terminal. My plane aint leave intill 4:15pm so I was hella bored. So i flew from Tulsa, OK to Atlanta, GA. Getting into GA was just such a relief I could liek finally breathe and think im on my way home. I arrived from GA to Philly, PA around 11pm. My parents were waiting at the airport.. Im so glad to be home. I didnt get home intill close to 12pm but, im so glad to be here. Wanna thank god for getting me home safe and getting me away from my asshole brother. So this trip from hell is finally over.

2004-08-30T02:58:00.000-07:00

Today was a horrible day... a day so horrible I was driven to go home back to my comfort zone. Being in Tulsa, OK has left me miserable. First off, I love the state, it was beautiful much nicer and the people are nicer too. However, my brother is still an asshole. I was hoping me coming down here would give us time to get closer but it was quiet the opposite. My brother has treated me like shit the whole time I was here, he wouldnt hang out wit me inless I payed for him or his friends came, he wouldnt let me use his stuff, he treated me like a child, he disrespected me, talked about me to his friends, and oh so many more things that i dont feel like getting in to. Around 12am after coming back from the gym we started arguing and i called my mom in tears telling her I wanted to come home. So, the good news is im coming home tomorrow rather than on Thursday. But the bad news is I started some family problems cuz my brother was being a complete asshole and dick head to my parents. He wont even make arrangments for me to get to the airport tomorrow.. i have to catch a cab. But, this situation has just made me feel so betrayed and so uncomfortable.. i swear I've been cring for at least 2 hours straight. I was lucky to have keisha to speak to cuz Desean wouldnt talk to me. Anyways, there are many more reasion why I decided I wanted to leave but I dont see the point in covering them here. lets just leave it as I was uncomfortable. He wouldnt even let me sleep in a bed tonight or with covers.. I slept on the couch wit no covers or anythings. Totally Sucks.

2004-08-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I spent most of today on the computer checking all this mail.. over 300 letters wit all 3 of my names. So, I got thru that and just chilled. Jason and my brother came home and I cooked dinner for them. Then we watched the Music Video Awards. Me and ny brother bet money on it but, I lost. Um, kyle came by and watched it wit the 3 of us. After the VMAs me and my brother went to the gym. I also spoke to Desean before I hit the gym.. I guess everything is cool now but, I know we never gon get back together, I guess I just need to give up and let go.. I know thats what he wants me to do. So consider it done. So after the gym, I came in took a shower and just chilled on the puter. Then I just went to sleep. You know how it go.

2004-08-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

SO we woke up around 11pm. My stomach hurt a lil. But yall know last night was crazy. So we got up, got dressed and all that. Then we went to Denny's to grab some breakfast. So we sat there and chilled for a while. On the way home, my brother's car broke down. It broke down right infront of his apartments but, not inside. So, this dude stopped and helped us and he figured out the problem. My brother's timming belt was broken. So, my brother's boy kenny came out and this little boy named Kyle stopped and helped us. So, I steered and then the boyz pushed the car up. We were about halfway there when my brothers roomate came out. He had towing clips and rope so, we hooked the rope from his truck to my brothers car and towed it the rest of the way wit my brother steering. So, in the end we gave the lil boy something to drink and $10 because he was a great help. And, that made his day. So, we made a new friend. My brother told him if he ever felt like playin some soccer or basketball to just stop by. So, we chilled around my brothers apartment for the rest of the day. We went to teh gym and worked out and then around 10pm Jason came back over. So, we ran to blockbuster and rented Barber Shop 2 and Radio. Then we went to the AMC movie theatre and saw Garden State at 12:15am! The movie was actually okay. Its about a guy who grows up in New Jersey and moves to California to persue an acting career and the guy comes back to Jersey for the first time in 9 years when his mother dies. So, it just shows what its like to come home when all ur friends have changed. But, he meets a girl and falls in love during his 5 days in Jersey and yea, thats the movie. My brother really liked it alot.. i guess he can relate since he comes home to see all his friends change and all that. but yea, we got home around 2:45am and just went to sleep after a while.

2004-08-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

Are u guys surprised to be seeing a new post? Well, my brother is letting me use his laptop to get online and shit. I woke up yesterday around 7am to get ready to catch my plane, I took a shower and got all ready, u know. Around 8:45am, we (me, my dad, and my mom) left for the airport in Philadelphia, PA. We got there at about 9:45am. I went and got my electronic ticket and all that shit and gave them my luggage and then I attempted to go thru security. I took off my bracelt, necklaces, and earings but it beeped. So, took off my belt but it was still beeping so, I had to go over to this side blocked off aera and get felt up by the fucking black stick thing. Then, they let me go thru.. lol.so i sat in the fucking airplane lounge placed and chilled.. around 11:30am, I got on the plane. I was kinda scared.. I havent flown since I was in 4th grade.. lol. And of course, I have never flown alone before. So I get on the plane and sit in the wrong seat like a dumbass... so i find my right seat and then I just chilled. Looked out the windows alot and I slept for a lil bit. So, after about 2 hours we arrived in Atlanta, Georgia. I believe it was like 1pm when we got there. And, I had about 45 minutes intill my next flight left. So, I get off at terminal B27 and I need to get to A29. So I walk all the way to B1 to find out i went the wrong way, so I walk back to B15 go downstairs then back upstairs and then all the way to A29 to find out my gate was changed so I walk all the way back to A7. I get there and they already boarded my zone.. 5 minutes later and I would have missed my flight. So, the whole flight to Tulsa, OK I read my summer reading book and listened to music. Around 3:30pm I arrived in Tulsa. So, I walked over to the baggage claim and sat down. As soon as I sat down I saw my brother walking in. So, we got my suitcase and then we left. We stopped at the grocery store and then we went to my brother's apartment. The whole complex he lives in is really nice. They have a free 24 hour gym, 24 hour business center, and huge swimming pool. So, we got settled in and ready and all that. Around 6pm my brother's boy Kenny picked us up and we went to my brother's law school because they were having a welcome back to school party. So, I got to see alot of the law school students... they are weird. Most are int heir 30s and married. So, we ate a lil. The party had free beer so everyone drank alot. Around 8 or 9pm we left the party and went back to my brothers. His boy Jason folllowed us there. Jason just turned 32 so, they had a birthday party for him at my brothers house. We played 2 games of yatzee and drank. I had 2 bootles of Boones farm and then my brother made me a glass of captain morgans and coke. After that, I had another glass. Then, I started drinking beer. I was drunk as hell. So, I go to the bathroom and i just sat on the floor. About 5 minutes after that I started throwing up. At least I made it to the toilet.. lmfao. I cant believe I threw up. But, that captain Morgans is some real shit... strong as hell. So, after throwing up and all I just went to sleep. What a night. This is the first time I ever threw up from drinking.. lol.

2004-08-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

Well, today is still a horrible day but, Desean actually made me smile. :-D. I know hes a good person, its just hard to see all the time. Check it out:

LiKkInUrItE [5:18 PM]: "In a way, I just wish I could die and phase out of everything but, this cant happen. I know I still gotta deal wit this. I just feel like im in a cold world with no friends. Thats all I want, a true friend. I have none." WTF is that shit?
Auto response from BlazinGhettoChic [5:18 PM]: Lying down and Upset // dont feel like talking. Call da c e l l y * lol. Ill get up tho. www.carleighs.blogspot.com go read what shit I talk about you on here.Whats good for tonight, ya know ya girl is leaving tomorrow at 9am! Holla at me or better yet... CALL MEEEE
LiKkInUrItE [5:18 PM]: Yo even though u have problems wit me and all the bullshit ma
LiKkInUrItE [5:19 PM]: That's not an attitude to have for yourself
LiKkInUrItE [5:19 PM]: I neva would want something like dat for u
LiKkInUrItE [5:22 PM]: I wish you the best ma, even though times are ruff and things aren't the greatest between us like I said in the beginning u need a nigga who is gonna treat u like u need to be treat which is like a "Queen". But at the same time not a nigga that's gonna do wuteva u say! I mean everyone has their faults and no one is perfect we call make mistakes, ok but lets not hold shit against people for their mistakes and imperfections, that's just not write.
LiKkInUrItE [5:22 PM]: I'm talkin about this situation between us
LiKkInUrItE [5:22 PM]: And this whole thing wit KT!
LiKkInUrItE [5:22 PM]: Ma you gonna have to get ova that nigga I'm sorry but why would u sit and still have feelings for a creature like dat?
LiKkInUrItE [5:23 PM]: U didn't deserve to be treated like dat no female should eva be treated like dat
LiKkInUrItE [5:23 PM]: Be strong ma fuck dat nigga and any otha nigga who would try to treat you anything less than wut u are!
LiKkInUrItE [5:24 PM]: Shit you're special ma wether u know it or not. In 2 ways
LiKkInUrItE [5:25 PM]: 1.) You're a beautiful young lady with a good heart and soul. Even though u try to have a lil ghettoness in u out there in the counrty part of NJ. But you're a real good female almost wifey material
LiKkInUrItE [5:25 PM]: 2.) You're just special............................................................................................................Like the girl that rides the short bus!! LMAO
LiKkInUrItE [5:26 PM]: Now how bout u post that! Something positive for a change!
LiKkInUrItE [5:26 PM]: HOLLA 1!!!!
LiKkInUrItE [5:41 PM]: "Emotional GoalI want to learn to stop taking everything to the heart and I want to try and be in a better mood around my house."
LiKkInUrItE [5:41 PM]: "Relations Goals
LiKkInUrItE [5:41 PM]: I want to become closer to the positive guys (Dashawn, etc.)."
LiKkInUrItE [5:42 PM]: Awwwwwww that's soooooo sweet!!
LiKkInUrItE [5:42 PM]: LMAO
LiKkInUrItE [5:42 PM]: Spank u very much ma at least u had sense then Idk wut happened
LiKkInUrItE [5:42 PM]: lol
LiKkInUrItE [5:42 PM]: Holla!
BlazinGhettoChic [5:57 PM]: wow.... u almost made me smile on a terrible day.
Auto response from LiKkInUrItE [5:57 PM]: Wut up I'm out rite now. My people who I'm cool wit like dat yall know how to get in touch wit me. But everyone just leave me ya numba or a message and I'll get in touch wit yall. Take care
BlazinGhettoChic [5:57 PM]: I am posting this one.. :-D

2004-08-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm leaving tomorrow around 9am. IM off to Tulsa, Oklahoma to visit my brother. My feelings on goin are very mixed. In a way, I dont want to go because my brother is an asshole and treats me like shit most of the time but, In a way I want to go so i have something to do and because Ill get to leave my problems that are in here in Jersee. Right now, im in the worst mood and Im just so upset. No particular reason either just so many little things. Im upset because I hate my life and my life completly sucks. My friends I cant trust.. even Ashley, my so called BESTFRIEND set me up to get jumped. Quannie my other so called bestfriend never even tries to chill wit me. Im more just his friend for when he is bored. Same wit Sherrell. Me and Lauren go in and out all the time, one minute we're together the next minute we've forgotten the other exisits. Evangeline has been around more now but, I kno shes pissed at me for the whole situation wit Sherrell and Amber. Point blank, my friends dont care about me what so ever. No one ever calls me to go anywhere anymore, inless they want me to come cuz no one else is around. My guy situation is horrible. I want to be in love but, Im not gonna deal wit all the bullshit that comes with it. Desean really fucked me over and im still madd about it. I miss KT so much, I havent spoken to him since July 3, 2004 and I swear, I miss him like crazy. But, I know I will never have him again and its killing me inside but, I gotta just move on. Well, I dont feel like writing more because words cant express how I feel right now. In a way, I just wish I could die and phase out of everything but, this cant happen. I know I still gotta deal wit this. I just feel like im in a cold world with no friends. Thats all I want, a true friend. I have none. Actually, I would take a group of fake friends as well. Just something to have around. So, Im leaving tomorrow and I dont know if I will be able to get on the computer or not. But, I come home on the 2nd so, expect something here soon. If you're one of my true peoples, you know how to reach me on my cell... yeah right like anyone even calls me these days. Well, Im gone. xoxoxo

2004-08-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

So, after goin to bed at like 5:30am, I had to wake up at 9am to go to the DMV. So, I got all dressed up and shit found all my IDs and all and went to the DMV and tried to get a 6 point ID card. But, come to find out they wont give me no ID inless I was 17 so, fuck it. So, we just left. When I came home, I turned the ringers on my phones off and went to sleep. finally, I got to sleep nicely. So, around 3:30pm, I wake up and I had 8 missed calls! Turns out they mailed our scheduels and madd people callin to see what period my lunch and gym was. But, I went to get my mail and my shit wasnt even there.. I was mad as hell. So, I guess Ill have to call the school tomorrow and find out why I aint get it. Um, lauren came home today.. I missed her! Keyon aint even call me today but, me and Terrance talked all night.. from like 9pm till like 3am in the morning. Hmm, I might be starting to like him but, after Desean, I aint ready for that. So yea after Terrance let me go I talked to Jae on here. Jae is such a good guy! But, I did a few things and then I went to bed around 6am.

2004-08-24T17:32:00.000-07:00

Um, pretty productive day. Woke up at 9am to Sherell yelling... annoying as fuck. She dont understand that just cuz she wakes up early dont mean that she can call me and wake me up too... :-(. Keyon called me around 10am so, I talked to him for a while. Around 1pm, I got a shower and ready and all that stuff. At like 2:15pm me and my mom went and got gas and then we went to the Lenscrafters in our mall. So, I got my eyes checked out and all that stuff. Doctor says my eyes are bad enuff that I should wear glasses all the time. But, I bought contacts too, so i dont look like a dork. I got a clear pair, carribian aqua, and true saphire. I have the clear now and the 2 colors come in next week. So, while we were waiting for our glasses to be made we walked around the mall. We went into like every store looking for orange or yellow pumps.. but, we didnt find them. I found yellow fishnets, they would look hot the first day if I could find some pumps to wear wit em. My mom bought me a pack of tongue rings I got a hot pink one, yellow, orange, green, and purple. My mom rocks! I went and filled out an application at this store and I gotta go back and take the common sense test next week. I went and bought a pair of jeans from JC Pennies. I went to Old Navy looking for some new flip flops but they have like nothing left. After all this it was like an hour so, we went and picked up our glasses. By the time we got home it was 7pm so, I just fixed some dinner ate and went to sleep.. I was so tired. I woke up around 11pm and came on here and bullshitted for a while. Keyon called me and told me hes leaving to go home (philly) tomorrow night. He wants to chill tomorrow but, Im not gonna answer when he calls. I argued wit Jae for a while and his boy Tarrance called me. I ended up on the phone wit Tarrance till like 3:45am in the morning. I bullshited on here intill like 5:30am and then i got off cuz I gotta be up at 9am tomorrow. 3 hours of sleep! lol.

2004-08-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

Dont know if anyone cares but, this is the 101th entry that I have posted in here! lol. Anyways, today was okay. Started out bad after I argued wit Desean and my mom. But, it got much better. I started packing for OK today.. Im leaving on Friday. And I also did a lil of my summer reading. The book we have is the Belfast Diary.. its about the war in Ireland and how the Ireland citizens have learned to live with such voilence and tortue everday. Um, I made two new friends yesterday too! Jae called me and I made friends wit his boy Terrance. Hes from jersey Dity but, he lives in Clayton now. Terrance knows Dominque so, we called her and me and her caught up a lil. Dominque is gon try to get me a job at Micheals so, that sounds good, they pay $6.10 an hour for starting salary! So, while I was on the phone wit Terrance, Sherrell called me wit Keyon. Keyon's from Philly but, hes down visiting. Im gonna go meet him tomorrow. He better be cute. He seems so nice, lol. So, I stayed on the wit Keyon intill like two and then I called Terrance back and we talked till his phone died. lol. So that was about it.

2004-08-23T14:36:00.000-07:00

Chea, I just hooked my girl Elena's blog up so um go check it out yall: www.elenasthoughts.blogspot.com. Her link is also over wit my friends but, ill get up

2004-08-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

Heh... comedy. Check out this convo between me and Desean he claims he not no other boy but um, this should prove it:

sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:34:00 PM): wtf happened to u last night
LiKkInUrItE (1:34:18 PM): I got anotha phone call
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:34:30 PM): so u just ignore me for the rest of the night?
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:34:33 PM): thanks!
LiKkInUrItE (1:35:45 PM): not ignore just a more important phone call
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:36:34 PM): well, im sorry I bothered u last night then... I dont think u'll have that to worry about anymore :-)
LiKkInUrItE (1:38:09 PM): lmao u didn't botha me
LiKkInUrItE (1:38:21 PM): I was fine my peoples called and I just talked to them
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:38:46 PM): thats nice.
LiKkInUrItE (1:39:07 PM): ok
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:39:37 PM): but ur not like every other guy right?
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:39:39 PM): hehhhhh
LiKkInUrItE (1:40:58 PM): I'm not
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:41:12 PM): yea u just act like one right?
LiKkInUrItE (1:42:09 PM): lmao naw u just think that cause I don't do things u want
LiKkInUrItE (1:42:11 PM): lmao
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:42:23 PM): yea.. im soooo selfish huh?
LiKkInUrItE (1:42:23 PM): I told u say wuteva u want and think wut u want to
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:42:49 PM): Im selfish cuz I wanted a real guy to like me for who I was... and not leave me for another girl yep... soooo selfish
LiKkInUrItE (1:42:53 PM): I'm not gonna try to change ya mind
LiKkInUrItE (1:43:01 PM): no
LiKkInUrItE (1:43:07 PM): for otha reasons unknown
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:43:23 PM): whats that mean?
LiKkInUrItE (1:43:50 PM): nothin
LiKkInUrItE (1:43:54 PM): don't worry about it
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:44:06 PM): fuck it den.
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:44:20 PM): im tired of playin lil kid games wit u..
LiKkInUrItE (1:44:29 PM): LMAO lil kid games
LiKkInUrItE (1:44:32 PM): U playin them
LiKkInUrItE (1:44:36 PM): Callin me wit dumb shit
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:44:46 PM): yep.. ur right?
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:46:33 PM): but, im not gonna sit here and be immature and point fingures and try to prove who acts more mature.. I personally dont care. Just kno that what u did to me was fucked up if u wanna admit to it or not. Goodbye, take care, have a nice day... and ummmm oh yea: if u cant understand why I feel this way about u then, FUCK OFF! Goodbye.
LiKkInUrItE (1:47:27 PM): lmao fuck off
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:47:44 PM): YAY! u can read!
LiKkInUrItE (1:47:57 PM): lmao
LiKkInUrItE (1:47:59 PM): ok ma
LiKkInUrItE (1:48:08 PM): I'm the one who said not to call but u still did
LiKkInUrItE (1:48:13 PM): Take ya own advice ma
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:48:18 PM): well believe me.. I will
LiKkInUrItE (1:48:21 PM): k
LiKkInUrItE (1:48:25 PM): take care
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:48:27 PM): GOODBYE. TAKE CARE AND FUCK OFF
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:48:47 PM): Good luck wit findin a girl to put up wit ur bullshit and games
LiKkInUrItE (1:48:48 PM): u gotta get the last word huh
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:49:01 PM): yepsh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:49:06 PM): so just let me have it
LiKkInUrItE (1:49:14 PM): naw good luck to u findin a nigga to put up wit ya games and ya immature ass
LiKkInUrItE (1:49:24 PM): U can't even compromise u always want it ya way
LiKkInUrItE (1:49:39 PM): So go find some lil pussy ass bitch nigga to put up wit dat
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:49:45 PM): yep... whateva
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:49:58 PM): nah mean lets back track tho.. u fucked up everything.. not me
LiKkInUrItE (1:50:09 PM): lol yea I neva came out and disrespekted u so if u wanna play dat then we can do so
LiKkInUrItE (1:50:23 PM): yea I kno
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:50:25 PM): so talk all the shit on me u want and try to make me feel worse about it but just kno u were the one to fuck up
LiKkInUrItE (1:50:30 PM): And I wanted to correct everything
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:50:36 PM): yea right
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:51:10 PM): if u wanted to u would of..
LiKkInUrItE (1:51:13 PM): But u can't just waitLiKkInUrItE (1:51:25 PM): I wanna see how u gonna act
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:51:26 PM): becuase I shouldnt have to wait...
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:51:35 PM): wtf id this testing me bullshit
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:51:55 PM): nah mean u say everything should be 50/50 this whole time im giving it my all
LiKkInUrItE (1:52:26 PM): lmao giving ya all
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:52:38 PM): what u think i wasnt?
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:52:44 PM): im the one callin..
LiKkInUrItE (1:53:11 PM): I know
LiKkInUrItE (1:53:16 PM): But look how u act though
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:53:57 PM): how am i supposed to act... u dont understand yet do u... u break up wit me for someone else... how do u think that makes me feel about my self?
LiKkInUrItE (1:55:02 PM): Ok but does that mean , "Oh let me call this nigga and be stupid and make up dumb shit on the phone to fuck wit him", "Oh let me talk shit about him", "Oh let me get my girl to call him"
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:55:28 PM): yep.
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:55:41 PM): fuck it.. im just wasting my time
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:55:45 PM): im gone. . xoxo
LiKkInUrItE (1:56:03 PM): 1
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:56:09 PM): 1 yaself
LiKkInUrItE (1:56:23 PM): wuteva like I said u just gotta have the last word
LiKkInUrItE (1:56:27 PM): 1
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:56:30 PM): 1 yaself
LiKkInUrItE (1:56:37 PM): Good luck wit ya pussy nigga
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:56:49 PM): good luck wit a ordinary bitch
LiKkInUrItE (1:57:47 PM): I'd take an ordinary bitch than a female who can't be patient enuff to let me take care of business
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:58:03 PM): hehh.. well u got her now huh
LiKkInUrItE (1:58:16 PM): yea
LiKkInUrItE (1:58:21 PM): Too bad u can't be like dat ma
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:58:30 PM): cuz fuck it.. I kno cant no body do it like me.. u said urself im better than her so.. if she maks u happy go for it
LiKkInUrItE (1:58:47 PM): You are physically
LiKkInUrItE (1:59:01 PM): mentally u on a whole otha plateau
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:59:15 PM): whateva... ur just another nicca
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:59:18 PM): seriously
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (1:59:33 PM): nah mean.. give me 2 fuckin reasons why u not like no other nicca!
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:01:10 PM): I can tell ur thinking hard!
LiKkInUrItE (2:01:33 PM): I don't treat females wit disrespekt, and I do not and have not cheated til this day, I unlike alot of niggaz would rather be in a bad relationship
LiKkInUrItE (2:01:40 PM): I mean good long term*
LiKkInUrItE (2:02:07 PM): And please ma I can name a lot of shit
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:02:08 PM): umm.. u dont think u disrespected me?
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:02:27 PM): umm.. u dont consider goin wit me and then deciding to go wit another female as cheating?
LiKkInUrItE (2:02:40 PM): I just talk to otha people cause you're not the most important person rite now
LiKkInUrItE (2:02:47 PM): No
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:02:57 PM): but u still went wit me and made me think I was special
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:03:04 PM): but ur still not an ordinary nicca
LiKkInUrItE (2:03:05 PM): I stopped talkin to u just so I can be wit her
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:03:08 PM): go fuck off
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:03:25 PM): your right.. ur not like KT.. ur worse. KT didnt do all the mind games like u. KT would at least be upfront wit me
LiKkInUrItE (2:03:32 PM): U said the same thing you'd break up wit a person b4 anything cause u don't consider it cheating
LiKkInUrItE (2:03:43 PM): LMAO think wut u want
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:03:46 PM): but u didnt do that
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:03:53 PM): u got wit her and then broke up wit me
LiKkInUrItE (2:03:53 PM): I'm not gonna argue wit u bakk anymore
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:03:57 PM): then fuck off
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:03:59 PM): go away
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:04:05 PM): we're done we have nothing to discuss
LiKkInUrItE (2:04:07 PM): But u know I'm rite anything u can say I can prove u wrong lmaosh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:04:12 PM): really?
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:04:16 PM): I beg to differ
LiKkInUrItE (2:04:31 PM): well do u
LiKkInUrItE (2:04:59 PM): If u have ya opinion then fine
LiKkInUrItE (2:05:10 PM): Spread dumb shit act ya age and say wut u want
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:05:17 PM): fuck u desean.. Im not doin this
LiKkInUrItE (2:05:25 PM): Just take care and b E-Z ma
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:05:43 PM): I got other shit in my life thats not so good now too and Im tired of dealin wit this problem.. i think pretty much now we kno we'll NEVER get back together
LiKkInUrItE (2:05:54 PM): OK!
LiKkInUrItE (2:06:07 PM): Then can we stop wit the messages back and forth
LiKkInUrItE (2:06:15 PM): And I not have to worry about u callin
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:06:18 PM): goodbye.
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:06:33 PM): u dont have to worry about anything.. matter of fact Ill block u just in case
LiKkInUrItE (2:06:35 PM): ok
sh0rtiig0tdasnap (2:06:38 PM): goodbye

For the record.. fuck u. Im not goin to want this one back!

2004-08-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

Last night was an interesting night. I didnt go anywheres during that day. I argued wit Tiffany thru Sherrell. Sherrell is cool wit both of em and sometimes she ends up relaying messages. Tiffany is so dumb she was like "Carleigh I miss you so much! Whyd ont u come over today so we can catch up?" and I was like yea, "how bout I come over and punch you in your face?". Cuz fuck this shit... they cant even touch me when they jump me so hit me wit a one on one and Ill merk em.. lol. Um, Tarryn said she wants to fight me again. Sounds good! You feel like u lost so u need to try again? Thats wonderful. Um, Quannie wanted me to go to the movies with him again today and I almost did but, I decided against it.. I just dont feel like goin to the cumberland movies... I dont even like the people that work there (Corey)! So, I stayed in for the night. I started packin for Tulsa. Im leavin on Friday! Um, we played on peoples phones last night. We got Sasha pretty bad.. I called her and was like "bitch u fuckin wit my man?" and keep goin wit it. I was like yea bitch u live on Broad in Philly? lmfao. Then we did the STD to Desean and then we called back and did the indian dog.. lol. Somehow we started talking for a while (like maybe 15 min.) and he had another call and never clicked back over. Whenever I called back he jsut ignored it. Hmmm.. But hes not like every other nicca right? And that fucking comment on me wanting him to do everything when I say so flase. However, is it too much to ask for me to have a man that likes me enough to stay with me? Fuck it I dont even need all that.. let me just get one who wont leave me for someone else and then FUCK WITH MY HEAD and say he still wants me yet, he does nothing to get me! But yea, hes not like every other nicca.

2004-08-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

Iight well, Im all caught up on my entries and I just made a new layout last night so, I guess Im gonna work on my subpages. Yall gotta go check them out. Lots of other types of shit there.

2004-08-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

OKay so, today wasnt that good of a day. My phone woke me up at like 10am. Sherrell and Quannie still havent learned that i dont wake up early like them.. lol. Anyways, I called Desean a few times but, fuck it now. I went over to the mall real quick. Sherrell got me a pair of tims (just wheat and white) wit her 50% off, so I only paye $44.99 for dem. I was happy! Um, Quannie called me and asked me if I wanted to go to see Extrosict in the Hamilton mall and I was like yea but I gotta do some stuff first and then he was just like hes too tired to go and he dont feel like driving home. I actually hope he decides to go tomorrow but, he should just go to the deptford movie theater so we can hit the deptford mall. lol. Sherelle called Desean for me. She was supposed to smooth things over but, they just started arguing. He actually called her a bird ass bitch and said she was prolly bald headed. So funny tho cuz Sherrell got long hair... lol. But that just basically proved to me that Desean is like any other nicca, if not hes worse. So, I told him that and hung up. I wont be speaking to him again. :-D. Anyways, that was aboout it for today. I have a horrible headache that I took medicine for already but its still here. SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT ME!

2004-08-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

Today was cool. I ended up wit Evangeline today.. I havent really chilled with her in about a month or so. I actually convinced her to start a journal on here. So, I went down to her house and helped her set it up and I made a lil Sponge bob layout for her. Go check out her site yall: www.evangelinesblog.blogspot.com we also smoked a blunt. E swears she wasnt high but this girl fell 3 times... lmfao. I was laughing sooooo hard. Ahh, E im gonna miss u this year! We aint gon have our vanish times on the bus no more... :-(. Ill miss Rebecca's dumbass too. Hopefully, Ill get rides to school from Bryan. I miss my Bryan, I should call him today. Um, Desean happened to be on here while I was on so we spoke. I asked him what this new girl got that I dont.. he said nutting... yea right. He told me he'll break up with her If we can go back out. I really want to tell him to do it cuz I really wanna be with him but, thats wrong and its not fair to the girl hes with now. So, I dont know what to do. I really like him but, I dont kno how to feel now that he just broke up with me. But, it got even weirder after I got offline. I called him.. I dont kno what for I just wnted to talk to him. but, he was on the phone with his sister (or so he says). So I call back like an hour and a half later and hes on the phone with his girlfriend and he wont let her go to talk about our situation. Im like what the fuck... u say u like me more but u wanna talk to her.. FUCK THAT. So, I told him if we're gonna talk about this, we're gonna talk now. But he aint wanna talk so I was like iight that tells me that I should be hangin up with you forever now. Hes so confusing. Im ready to give up. If he wants me, he'll come find me.. if not then it wasnt ment to be. Holla at cha girl.

2004-08-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

Another day to wake up early for. I had to wake up at 8:30am after going to bed at 7am. hehh.. I've finalyl trianed my body not to need too much sleep.. I am thrilled. I went to Hamilton mall with my mom today to go school shopping. I got some nice shit. Im thinking about taking pictures and posting it here. I think I got my first day of school outfit too. Its a white and orange rocawear shirt and I ordered an orange purse from the rocawear website. Im thinking that with a frayed jean skirt and orange pumps. :-D. I also bought alot of other cute shit. Got a baby phat purse. 3 pairs of shoes. Including a fresh pair of all white air forces.. im surprised I was able to cop them. So i came on here and chilled. I spoke to Desean and he told me he made a mistake by leaving me. I dont know what to say to him because I really want him.. I mean I really really wanna be with him but, I dont know if I trust him completly. I dont know. What do you guys think?

2004-08-18T10:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I can easily say that today was a bad ass day. I woke up late, like usual. So, I come online to chekc my messages and shit.. I get on C-pixel to see I have a message from Desean. But, it wasnt nuttin good. He said he cant be with me anymore.. he even admited that there was another girl. And he has the nerve to say hes NOT like KT... ummm yea. You know, im not mad at him.. im mad at myself for letting another guy come and play me. I let another guy run his lines to me and swear he wasnt like no one else and I let myself fall into it. Im such a fucking dumbass. But, I've adapted a new attitude.. I dont need love. And its good that I dont need it because as much as I have tried, I wont get it. Im just not girlfriend material. See look Desean couldnt even last with me for a day.. Im just not good as a girlfriend. The thing that really messes up the whole situation is that I really liked Desean and I really really do still think hes different. But then yet, I dont know. This whole situation caught me by surprise.. and I really like him so it completly sucks. Hehhh... Im done wit it now.. im not gonna go wit someone else and let them fuck with my emotions again.. its happened way to many times. "I aint no X-box so dont try to play me." Hehh.. Im gone.

2004-08-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

So I woke up at 7am today because me and Quannie are going to Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom. I got all ready and shit. I tried on so many different things. I ended up wearing these light blue jeans with these cheap lil shirt that said bodacious on it. Quannie got here around 8:15am. So, we stopped at McDonalds on the way for breakfast. Jasmine was working. So, we ate and then left. The ride up was about 2 hours. We got there at like 10:30am. So, we bought our tickets ($25) and then went in. We got a locker and then we hit up some roller coasters. We rode Tylon, Hang Time, Steel Force, and Meteor intill we were way too hot. So, we went and got into our bathing suits and went to Wildwater kingdom where we spent all of our time in Water Works and the rapid river. By this time it was about 4pm so, we went and changed back to our clothes and got some food. Then, we went back to Dorney Park and rode Tylon and HangTime again and we also did a ferris wheel. Im glad I brought Quannie with me, we had fun. Then, we got hot again so we went back to Wildwater kingdom. We rode 3 different slides and then we went back to waterworks.. lol. We're such little kids. At 7pm when wildwater kingdom closed, we went back to Dorney park. We rode everything then, we hit the dominator 2 times (the red and green one), we rode tylon like prolly 5 or 6 times, hang time like 3 times, meteor like 2 times, revolution once, steel force 2 times, and laser once. We also at and watched one of the shows they had goin on.. it was really good. It was a musical and lots ad lots of dancing (like a mixture of ballet and jazz). By 10pm, we were so beat. Our feet hurt so bad from walking around all day and from walking on the cement with no shoes on in wildwater kingdom. So, my dad came back and picked us up around 10:15pm. I swear at that point all I wanted to do was lie in the back with my pillow nad blanket and talk to Desean. But, I ended up talking to Sherrell because Desean was on the phone with his sister. Quannie slept the whole way home.. he was snoring too! lol. I started to drift off when we got to our exit on 55 but, I woke up around when we were getting off. We stopped at Wawa on the way home and bought a few things. I got me a sandwich because I was very hungry. I was talking to Desean the whole time I was in there. So, I got home and talked to my mom for a while and I of course talked to my baby, you know. :-D. I really hope me and him last. Hes just wonderful. :-D. So, I ended up talking to him intill like 2:30am and then I went to sleep.. I was so tired.

2004-08-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

So once again, I stayed up late last night and I had to get up early. I was supposed to wake up at 9am but, I didnt wake up intill 10am. So, I only had a half hour to get ready but, by 10:30am, I was ready to leave. Me and my brother drove into Pennsylvania to take my Grandmother out to lunch. She lives a little outside Philly.. she lives in Dover. The drive up there was pretty bad tho. Like everything was all good intill we got onto 76W (after the Walt Whitman Bridge) people was just driving crazy! The scariest part for me is when we got run off the road by a truck! It was one of them large ones too. 76W is 4 lanes on each side, plus exit lanes. We were on the farthest left lane (right next to an exit lane) and this truck was in the lane to the right of us. So, we're driving and all and we see the truck put on its left blinker... my brother started beeping the horn so the truck wouldnt pass but he did. Yo, we had to fucking slam on the brakes and everything... I was sooo scared. So, I stood out the window and gave him the finger.. :-D. So we got to my grandmothers around 11:45am. We ended up taking her to a Chinese resturant up the street from her: "Chinese Delight". I got shrimp Lo Main. It was alright. After lunch we went back to her hour house and talked to her for a while. We left around 2pm. Tring to get home also sucked. My dad wrote out a page and a half of directions on how to get there!! He was writtening a book but, this bitch failed to put any street names on there. So, we just got all lost. Ended up in front of the King of Prussia mall. My brother didnt let me go in tho.. :-(. But, we found our way. So we get home around 4pm and no one is home and we didnt have keys... Grrr. We were locked out for like 30 minutes. I was so glad I had my cell to talk to someone.. lol. But, we finally figured out a way to get in.. actually my brother did. So, he gets in and locks me out till I walk away and say im leaving. I was like tell mom I left because you wouldnt let me in the house then he let me in.. lol. I immediatly came in and smoked a blunt and then I fell asleep for a while. Later on in the night I spoke to Desean again and we had a serious talk about relationships and stuff like that. :-D Im really feelin this boy. So, we're talking and he says he really wants to be with me so im like why we aint dere yet then and somehow we started goin out. Im really happy. I swear, I really do wanna start talking to other guys so I can get KT off my mind. And Desean is so wonderful, hesa everything I could have ever wanted in a guy and I hope I can keep this one for a change. I mean I really want to be with him forever.

2004-08-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I didnt go to sleep at all last night.. lol. Around 9am, I fell asleep but, I made sure Sherrell woke me up at 10am. So I got all ready, outfit was cute. Then, I cleaned my room and got dropped off at Sherrell's house. I get there and her mom is completly buggin. So, we just walked around the neighborhood. Sherrell went and got money out the bank and then she called her mom to see what was good. Her mom gon tell us we aint goin.. Ohhhh I was so souped. My dad had to come back and get me. So, I got home and went to sleep.. I was so tired. So around 6pm I woke up and went to Blockbuster with my dad. I went in and looked around but everything looked boring so, I didnt get anything. Anyways, so, the whole car ride home my dad has just got this whole lil attitude thing. Then he starts driving crazy because he knows that will get to me. He comes close to hitting a truck while tring to pass it.. Heh. I asked him why he was driving like such an asshole and he pulled to the side and told me to get out.. I laughed and got out. So, I was walkin home and plannin on shit to do. So, im on the phone wit Lauren and we were gettin ready to call a cab, I was gon pay for it wit the money my dad gave me to get a movie and my brother pulls up so, he gave me a ride home. So i came in and got ready and then my brother's girl Stephanie brought me to Newfield to Carries house cuz she was having a party. I walked in and didnt know one person there, except for Carrie. But, I started drinking and stoped caring.. lol. I drank some nasty ass beer, a smirnoff, and had like 4 shots of vodka. So, Im a lil tipsy. I came in and talked to Desean while smoking a blunt (he hates that). Im actually thinking about quiting.. I need to stop smoking. So, I just chilled and spoke to Desean.. I like him so much.

2004-08-15T04:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I feel like venting a little. Its 7:06am and I havent went to bed yet.. Im goin to Philly today and Im just not gonna go to sleep. Im getting offline at 7:15am and then im gonna get ready to leave. I wanna look nice today. I got a cute outfit lined up.. ill take pictures. Ima wear my white knickers wit this hot pink and white rocawear shirt and my hotpink and white rocawear flip flops and a white and hot pink flower in my hair. Um, Eze is officially cut today.. I called him and he was wit a girl and she was just being rude and disrespectful. Eze is an idiot.. The girl acted like we went out or sumthing.. wtf. Eze should have let her know how we is.. We dont talk.. I've seen him one time and although we flirt we both knew we would never be together. So, when the girl calls me and she asks Eze who I am he says Im some bitch.. like wtf? Why aint he just say we was cool peoples. Like I was gonan give a fuck hes wit another girl.. shit im happy for him, he needs a girl. Oh well, I dont care too much, but, I definetly dont see myself speaking to him again. Hes too childish for me.. hes too busy doing immature things. hes the type of guys that will just drive around cuz hes bored. Ehhhh. Im not on that same level. Anyways, I have to admit, Dashawn is soo amazing. Hes just a wonderful guy. Last night, I was on the phone wit him from 12:55am intill 5:37am! Like 270-sumthing minutes. Im starting to like him. I think hes soon enough going to become my backbone.. I think we will become very close soon. Um, I havent spoken to Ashley in a few days.. I think our friendship is over ever since these rumors are flying around. I dont kno what to do about this. I mean if shes my best friend I should believe she aint do it but, I really think she did set me up and I cant be down wit bitches who kick my back in so yea. Oh and yes, I am posting this ahead of time. When I do back posts you guys will see I got jumped in millville but, oh well.. I can handle my own its nuffin. But, its 7:14am and I promised my dad I would get off by 7:15am so, im gone. I hope I have fun in Philly today and all goes well! Holla at cha girl. 100.

2004-08-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

I didnt do too much today. I called Desean, this guy I just recently met. I ended up speaking to him for a long time.. hes a nice guy. My brother was supposed to chill wit Will after Will got off work (11pm). I swear, I love Will to peices.. he is so bangin and the nicest guy in the world. I wonder what my brother would really do if I started dating one of his friends... but yea right, like Will would ever date me (I Wish). But yea, my brother asked me if I wanted to go out with them and naturally I was thrilled. So, im like freshing up and my brother is like do u have anywhere to go. So, my brother just called Will and told him to forget it because there was no where to go. :-(. Naturally, I was sad... lol. So, I just stayed up and spoke to Desean.

2004-08-14T03:11:00.000-07:00

Well.. its 6:09am.. I havent went to bed yet and Im desperatly tring to change this layout but.. blogger is just sucking right now... it wont let me... GRRR. Very madd. :-(

2004-08-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

Well, today was once again a nothing day. I didnt do anything really. I went down the street to the park. I called Evangeline and Rebecca to see if they wanted to chill but, no one was answering. I went wit my brother and Stephanie. We just played a lil basketball. Sherrell's brother, Durell was there. He made me so embaressed... But oh well. I stayed up throught the whole night and meditated... lol. I talked to Desean once again, our conversations seem to last longer and longer everytime we speak. And, I must say I am thrilled. I fell like I have finally met a good guy. Hes not like KT or the other guys.. I really dont think he is a player.. I really think he is a respectful guy. :-D.

2004-08-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

Iight, it was once again time for a layout change.. the pink was hurting my eyes. This layout is kinda crappy... its not even ad free and it doesnt have room for a tagboard so, im leaving this up intill I make one myself. So, anyways... yeah.

2004-08-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

So my brother flew into town today. Me and my dad picked him up from the Philadelphia airport. Then, we met my Uncle Joe and Lydia in Philly for lunch. It was nice to see them. We sat and talked for a while, got into politics, books, movies, etc. On the way home, I 2-wayed Kevin Thompson and I ended up talking to him for a long ass time. We said we would chill tonight, but it never happened. Oh well. Its nice having my brother home again. Im going to try and make plans to visit him in Oklahoma.. I want to visit the country.

2004-08-10T18:03:00.000-07:00

I aint wake up today till like 3pm. Finally caught up on some sleep. Around 6pm I got ready to go out. I had wore this new ecko shirt its red and silver with my red and silver name plate belt and a rocawear skirt. I got Sherrell around 7pm and we went out to the Palnets to chill. We ende up with Shonda and PamPam. All the lil Planet boys was out there (Jon, Jamar... etc.) and I had also seen X (his fine self) and a few other peoples. We aint really do shit just walked around and chilled. Imma have to get Pam to hook me up wit X.. ;]. But yea, my dad picked us up around 10pm and I just went home and chilled.

2004-08-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I aint do anything today.. I just chilled hom again. Summer is definetly slowing down.. hasnt been too much to do.

2004-08-08T17:32:00.000-07:00

Well today was a crazy day. I woke up around 10am today.. ay to early for me. Around 12pm, me and Ashley walked to wawa and guess who I see! Tiffany. She comes running up to me hugged me nad sayin she misses me. Acting like we were still on good terms. So, it was all good. We walked to wawa and didnt get served.. I knew that was gonna happen. So, Tomakia went and got them for me. So, we get home and I rolled a blunt and faced that by myself. While I was smokin, Ashley was upstairs and shit... I dont kno why she left me downstairs alone for so long. So when I was done sleeping, I lied down on the couch to go to sleep. So 10 minutes or so later I hear the door open but, I aint get up cuz I figured it was just Dontay. But then, I see Tiffany and Tarryn walk in. Im like oh hell naw. So tarryn is like "whats good bitch." and im like "bitch whats good'. Then she ran up on me and started hittin me while I was still lieing on the couch. So im on the couch hittin her in he stomach and shit. Then I started gettin some face shots on Tiffany cuz she was hittin me too. Somehow, me and Tarryn ended up on the floor. Tarryn is on top of me and I was like kickin her in her face and shit. Tiffany is trin to fucking kick me but there was nuttin I could do about her. Then, Tomakia runs downstairs and is like oh hell nah, not in my house get the fuck out. So, Im like lets take this shit outside and then Makia wont let me get out intill they had already dun ran away. It was weird how we fought for so long without someone runnin downstairs.. weird. And I dont kno what the fuck Ashley was doin why she aint fight with me? Some weird things goin on. Anyways, that was about it... I went home around 4pm.. I didnt wanna be in Millville to much at that point. I stopped at the mall and saw Sherrell and talked to her for a minute and then i left with my dad and went home. I didnt really do nuttin tonight.. I was pissed as hell about what went down. Fuckin bitches ran up on me while I was half sleep and they fucking jumped me...

2004-08-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

Today was okay. I went to Millville and chilled with Ashley. We babysat her sister's friend's children. The boy was 1 and the girl is like 6 months. I swear i love lil kids... they're so cute. Around 9pm Tomakia and Pricilla came and picked us up and then we all went to Vineland and chilled in Pricilla's house. Around 11pm one of my niccas came thru and I bought me a twenty peice. He also gave me a extra bag and 2 blunts.. ;]. So, we went back to Millville by 12:30am. I smoked a blunt wit Al and Ashley and then I faced a blunt by myself. Me and Ashley ended up staying up intill about 3am acting dumb. This is like Ashley's first time being high and she acts so goofy! lol. So around 3amish I took it down and fell asleep.

2004-08-06T17:24:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty much a nothing day. I left Lauren's house around 12pm and came home. The rest of the day was just slow and boring. You know.

2004-08-05T03:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I couldnt make my mind up for what i should do today. I ended up going to the nail salon with Lauren around 8pm. I got my feet done again.. I love getting my feet done. I got them light purple, silver, white, and black. I cant explain it but, the design is so cute. Lauren's friend Nikki was at the nail salon so we ended up chillen wit Nikki and her Boyfriend for a while. We went to the chinese buffet, I rode wit her boyfriend and Lauren went wit Nikki. I didnt eat tho, I wasnt hungry. Then, they dropped us off at Lauren's house. We chilled for a while there. Lauren's cousion Nick came by, I kno him from way back in the day. We went to his house and then we stopped at wawa before he dropped us back off at Laurens. I saw Christina's sister there.. I felt weird speaking to her, it seemed like I was bothering her when I said hi. Oh well. Anyways, I ended up spending the night at Laurens house. I went to sleep pretty early too prolly around 1:45am or 2am ish. Thats really early for me.. lol.

2004-08-04T19:17:00.000-07:00

Well today was a horrible day. I swear I wanna kill myself... iight maybe not that but, I hate this. I chilled around home for a while. Quannie and Sherrell came and got me and we rode up to Glouster and went to the Peeking Buffet to eat. We're like a block away from dere and Quannie is like "Oh shit.. I cant find my wallet!". So, I was pissed as hell. We had $30 all together so, we went to change and counted all that. We were still $3.50 short.. lmfao. And, Glouster is like a 30 minute ride.. I was not about to go home and ride allllll the way back. Eheh, Cee aint beat. So, were in this shoe store and I asked this guy for the money he gave it to me... I think he felt bad for us. Oh well. He actually gave me $5.00. He was like as long as u dont buy cigerettes or drugs with this... lmfao. People are so nice sometimes. So, we're eating and shit. While we're eating, Quannie kept making this fucking asshole comments. Like at one point hes like "Im gonna marry a white girl when I grow up." and I ask why. This bitch had the nerve to say "All white girls are dumb and u can conrtol them." So, I was like well, I kno I aint dumb. Then this bitch brings up my relationship wit KT and I was dumb for lettin him play me. That really got to me. No one can understand how I felt about KT and how I felt when he was playing me. Man it fuckin hurt me... it hurt alot too. Does he really think I wanted it to happen to me? Would I really want to put myself in that type of pain and tortue? I just feel like no one can understand it. Anyways, he kept making his asshole comments all night. He poured Soy Sauce in my soda and it made me feel sick. Then, I found out he had said some real ignorant shit about me... I dont even feel comfortable writting it in here because it was that rude. So, I asked him like "Why would u even do some shit like that.. what the fuck is your problem." But, this bitch thought it was funny. I even told him to chill cuz he was really bothering me but he kept going. After like 5 minutes of this bullshit I got up and just started crying... I was so upset. I stayed in the bathroom for like 10 minutes before Sherrell came in there to see if I was okay. I was still upset then but, I calmed down after she talked to me. It just seemed to really get to me. Hes supposed to be my best friend. And here I am tring to spend time wit you while Im paying for your meal at the same time. And it bothered me more that when I walked away crying, he started laughin. I dont care if u didnt think u did anything wrong if ur my bestfriend and u see me crying u should be there for me. So, at that point we left.. I didnt wanna be there anymore. I cried the whole car ride home... 30 fucking minutes. I was just soo upset. It was weird too cuz I was cring hard as hell and it started storming and shit... raining hard as fuck. When Quannie dropped me off I got out the car I was like "drive safe and have a nice life." I dont intend to speak to him for the next few days... he really hurt me.

2004-08-03T21:02:00.000-07:00

Today was another boring day. I aint do nuttin but lie around the house. Around 10pm Lauren came thru and got me. We just went back to her house. We Chilled and talked and shit, you know. Around 12am I left and came home. I dont normally go to sleep till like 7am cuz its summer so, I once again stayed up bored. My life sucks. Hehh.

2004-08-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

Well, today was so blah... AGAIN. My life completly sucks.. why do u guys even read this. I was gonna go smoke wit Carrie, lauren, Gilch, and Kev but, shit fell thru. Everyone is all mad at me cuz I aint wanna smoke.. *oh well*. They wanted $35 for 4 blunts. Shit. I told Darrin and he was like well, Ill give u a $20 bag and ull get at least 5 blunts out of that. Lolz. I Aint buy nuttin tonight tho. I been smokin too much.. i gotta slow down. Its been like an everyday thing. And thats not all that i care about. besides, school is starting up soon and I am gonna try to get me some good grades.. ;-D. So, I stayed home. I talked to Darrin throught the whole night.. which is unusual.. I dont speak to him like that. Oh well. I aint go to bed till 6am... Im such a dork.

2004-08-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

Today sucked as well. I went to Laurens around 7pm. I get there and her stepdad was trippin. I Hate that bitch. Carrie was there too.. she also pissed me off. Carrie's peoples came thru. Walt was trippin so, me and Carrie left wit them.. it was 3 dudes.. I forgot dere names tho.. lmfao. We got lost on our way to Eckerds... lol. We bought some more weed tonight. I felt like Carrie was trin to beat me. So, yall got my word.. if I feel that way again... its a dun deal. Anyways, I threw up $15 and I only got 2 blunts. WTF. So, we smoked a blunt in the car and then they dropped me off at home. Around 1am, my high was gone so i rolled anotha one up! Smoked that one and then I went to bed.. haha.

2004-07-31T20:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I aint do shit today. There just wasnt nuttin to do and plus, my Ashley left for North Carolina on Thursday night.. :-(. I miss her already. but, yea.. today was a blah day.

2004-07-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

So, Laurens mom got us at like 7am. At that point, I was sooo shot out. I aint even sleep and I swear.. we prolly smoked like 4 blunts last night of some real good shit. So, we rode up to Sea Isle and layed out on the beach. I slept the whole ride there. We came home by like 4pm cuz Lauren had work. As soon as I got home, I went to sleep. I didnt sleep really last night.. too many drunken people areound. I didnt go no where tonight.. I was too shot out from last night. I felt so foggy and hazey today.. I had to stay in.

2004-07-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

I awake to some loud as bangin. I sleepily look at the clock to see that its 6:33am. We're gettin our roof redone so, I couldnt sleep after that point. Its just so fuckin loud. Around 1pm, I got ready and went off to Lauren's house, again. I went with her to the tanning salon and then we went back to her crib. We chilled till like 6pm. Then, we really got ready. Then around 8pm, Lauren drove me to my house so I could change and then we went to Brittany and Alexis's house. Brittant and Alexis both go to my school.. they're cool. They live together with their dad and brother but, her dad left for Florida so, shit has been crazy there. I walk in and madd people are httin balloons and shit. I just watched everyone do it.. I do NOT fuck wit Balloons. There were alot of people there I kno from school: Carrie, Nick, Kelly, Piere, Monique, Britt, and Alexis. And then ther were madd people I aint kno there.. too many to name. This boy Phill sparked a blunt and I smoked that shit. That was some good ass weed...lol. Then, we went in Alexis's room and smoked out of a bong. Then, we went back downstairs and jkust chilled. I dont even kno what the hell we were doin that whole time. I did drink a lil too. I had two 22oz. bottles of beer, a smirnoff, 1 hinekin (SP), and some shots of this nasty shit. It tasted like black lichorice (i cant spell today). So, we just chilled for a while. People were dancin and shit. I dont kno what the fuck we were really doin.. its such a blur to me now. Around 5am, I started to pass out but, everyone kept wakin me up. Around 7am, Laurens mom came and picked us up. But, I guess Ill write about that stuff on the 30ths entry since it was like 7am now.

2004-07-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

Today was such a blah day. I smoked in the morning. I've been smokin weed alot. Anyways, I just chilled and shit. I aint even go no wheres. I talked to jae again tonight for like 2 hours. We talked till his cell phone died. :-X.

2004-07-27T13:08:00.000-07:00

I left Laurens today around 12pm. Then, I came home and went right back to sleep. Lol. I got up and chilled for awhile. Around 7pm I went to Sears wit Quannie while he was working. I bought a cute pair of white sandales.. they're real cute. Some guy tried to talk to me today. He was cute but, I could tell he was older. I asked how old and he said 29! I was like hell no. Thats nasty as hell. He was like well, can u keep a secret? Hell no... I am not fucking wit someone that old. The limit is 21 or 22. So, fuck off. Anyways, around 9pm I went to Quannies car and waited for him to get out. I ate his KFC too. :-X. Then, he brought me home. Around 11pm, I smoked a blunt by myself. For some reason, it hit me tonight but, the same weed wasnt phasin me last night.. oh well. I talked to Jae on the phone for a while.. I think i like him :-X. Anyways, I went to bed by like 4am!

2004-07-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

I got up around 3pm.. lmfao. I went to Laurens later on and chilled there. This girl Brittney and Alexis are havin parties all week. We were gonna go but, her mom was trippin so we're gonna go later on this week or so. Me and Lauren walked to Wawa around 10:30pm. Christina's sister was there, I said hi to her. We bought madd food in there.. we were hungry as fuck. Me and Lauren bought a 20 bag of weed and smoked out. It was shitty weed too. And, the 20 bag only got 3 blunts!! I was mad as fuck... played us. Oh well. Lauren only smoked like half her blunt so I faced mine and had what she had left and I wasnt really even high. When we came in we watched Malibu's most wanted and Living the Life again.. lmfao. I feel asleep around 3am. I wasnt even that high... lol. Just felt it a little.

2004-07-25T12:56:00.000-07:00

Well, mine and Christina's friendship has finally came to an end. Oh well, I knew it was gonna happen.. she just changed too much since she got her liscence. Anyways, I chilled wit Lauren and dem again today. I rented Livin the Life from Blockbuster and then I went to Laurens house after that. Carrie was already there. So, we got ready and shit and LaTisha came and picked us up. We ended up goin to this guy Tommy's house in Buena. There were 4 guys there but, no one too cute. Everyone was drinkin and shit but, I only had a beer. Lauren, Carrie and Tommy left to get Brittany and Monique and then LaTisha was leavin so I went with her. We went to Pittsgrove to get Emon. We drived around for a while. We ended up chillin at Malaga wawa wit Mark, Dan, and some other boy I just met. So, we were just talkin and shit. I was supposed to be home by 12pm but, I called home and said Ill be in by 1am. So, I called Christina and she hit the ignore button on me. So, I just left her a message "Yo its Carleigh, Gee... I appriciate the fucking ignore button when u get this call me the fuck back." and Christina gets madd when she heard it and calls back all hyped. OH WELL. She wasnt even a real friend. She lies so much and talks about everyone. When we're together all she does is talk shit on her girl Lauren... she prolly does the same about me. But, yea... Christina had my glasses (I left em there) and now she wont give them back. DUMB BITCH. Oh well... shes trash in my mind. I dont need it. So, Fuck it. I was home by 1am. I feel bad cuz I never went back to where Lauren and them were at. I hope she dont think I was trin to pz her out. They smoked wit out me too! I watched my movie after I got home. It was really good. It made me cry 2x.

2004-07-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

haha... I finished two wine bottles by 9:09pm... less than two hours!! Not to mention that i stopped for dinner... hahahahahaha... im bored. I got a nice buzz two.